


Ruin It All and Love Like Fools

by yamsfreckles



Series: OiTsukkiYama Soulmate AU [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, Anxiety Attacks, Blow Jobs, Established OiYama, Established tsukkiyama - Freeform, Exhibitionism, Grinding, Hand Jobs, International Travel, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Pining, Polyamory/Open Relationship, Sequel of an Older Fic, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Threesome - M/M/M, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Voyeurism, established relationships - Freeform, rated for later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:01:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamsfreckles/pseuds/yamsfreckles
Summary: "It is jealousy, you idiot, he thought to himself.It’s just not jealously of Oikawa. Tsukishima shook his head rapidly, trying to stop his thoughts like he had earlier, subconsciously knowing where they were heading, and wanting desperately to stop them before they could get there.You’re jealous of Tadashi, his errant thoughts continued without his permission.Because…Tsukishima pressed the heels of his hands over his eyes, but he knew it was too late. He knew.Because you like Oikawa."-Or-Tsukishima develops feelings for his Soulmate's boyfriend(This is a sequel to "Almost Lovers Always Do" and takes place about six months after the end of that fic)
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Tsukishima Kei, Oikawa Tooru/Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Oikawa Tooru/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: OiTsukkiYama Soulmate AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104068
Comments: 39
Kudos: 78





	1. The Feelings in My Headspace Rearranged

**Author's Note:**

> In case you missed it in the summary, this is a sequel to a fic I wrote about four years ago - Almost Lovers Always Do. I guess you could try to read this on its own if you really wanted to, but you'll probably be very lost/confused and a lot of things probably won't make sense if you don't read ALAD first since there is a loooot of background info and references in that fic that you'll likely need to actually enjoy this one.
> 
> That being said, hello! I am back with my second multi-chapter fic because I still can't get over the trifecta that is OiTsukkiYama and, since it doesn't seem like much of anyone is making content for them, I have taken matters into my own hands once again. So, here I am. Writing a sequel that nobody asked for, for a fic that is almost four years old, just because I can. 
> 
> The fic and chapter titles are inspired by the song "Fools" by Lauren Aquilina.
> 
> Enjoy the clusterfuck that this is sure to turn out to be!

The icy wind bit at Tsukishima’s ears while he waited impatiently for the crosswalk sign to turn green. He had had to park two blocks down from the museum due to construction and the late November weather hadn’t been on his side today. 

He shifted his weight from one leg to the other trying to get warm as he waited. He could grin and bear if for a few more days. In less than a week he and Yamaguchi would be flying to California to spend December – and Christmas – with Oikawa. Oikawa had promised them that it would be warm without a hint of snow, and that alone would make the trip worth it. 

The more Tsukishima thought about the trip, the more anxious he became. He and Yamaguchi hadn’t seen Oikawa in just about six months and, though he hadn’t known Oikawa long, he definitely felt his absence. He had a good deal of respect and admiration for Oikawa – though he’d never admit that to Oikawa himself; his ego was already big enough. Oikawa treated Yamaguchi like he was precious – and he was – and Tsukishima knew the older man would never hurt Yamaguchi. Anyone who could love his Soulmate so fully was okay in his books. Tsukishima and Oikawa were friends. So why did the thought of seeing the other in person again make Tsukishima so nervous?

The crosswalk lit up and Tsukishima snapped out of his thoughts and crossed the street, walking faster than normal in his hurry to get out of the cold.  
He was grateful he had a car and that he wouldn’t have to take the bus and prolong his time out in the cold. It was an old and beat-up hand-me-down from his brother, but it was reliable and ran well. And most importantly, it had a decent heater, which Tsukishima turned on immediately after closing the car door behind him and starting the ignition. 

He let the engine idle while the heater kicked in and he yanked off his tie and threw it into the passenger’s seat. He reached into the pocket of his slacks and pulled out his phone, checking his messages while the interior of the car warmed up. 

He had a couple messages from Yamaguchi and one from Kuroo from earlier in the day. He opened Yamaguchi’s messages first. He had wished him luck and asked if he could stop and get dinner on his way home so they wouldn’t have to cook. Tsukishima snorted before responding.

**To: Tadashi**  
_What do you mean “we”? You know I’d be the only one cooking._

**To: Tadashi**  
_What are you hungry for?_

Yamaguchi responded almost immediately.

**From: Tadashi**  
_It’s not my fault you banned me from the kitchen, Tsukki! :p_

**From: Tadashi**  
_Is that an innuendo ;)_

**From: Tadashi**  
_jkjk sushi sounds good!_

**From: Tadashi**  
_Drive safe, see you soon! Love youuu_

Tsukishima rolled his eyes fondly.

**To: Tadashi**  
_I will. Love you too._

Tsukishima switched over to his conversation with Kuroo.

**From: Kuroo**  
_How did the interview go?_

Tsukishima sighed, thinking back to his frustrating interview at the museum.

**To: Kuroo**  
_Could have gone better. I guess we’ll see, but I’m not optimistic._

**From: Kuroo**  
_Sorry to hear that. Are there any more places you can apply?_

**To: Kuroo**  
_Yeah, a few. I’m going to wait till Tadashi and I are back from our trip though._

**From: Kuroo**  
_Smart. Maybe the new year will bring some luck. Let me know if you guys need anything, yeah?_

**To: Kuroo**  
_Yeah. Thanks._

Tsukishima was just about to lock his phone when a new message came in over Facebook and he saw Oikawa’s profile picture pop up on his screen. He felt a knot in his stomach as he looked at the picture. Oikawa’s arm was thrown across Yamaguchi’s shoulders and they were both grinning at the camera – at Tsukishima, because he had been the one to take the picture upon Oikawa’s request.

Tsukishima shook off his unease and tapped on the bubble, opening the chat. Oikawa didn’t message him directly often, usually preferring to pass messages along through Yamaguchi or verbally whenever Tsukishima was around during Oikawa and Yamaguchi’s weekly Skype calls. 

**From: Oikawa Tooru**  
_Tsukishima!! Tada-chan told me you had an interview today. How did it go??_

Tsukishima blinked at the screen a couple times before responding.

**To: Oikawa Tooru**  
_Yeah, at Sendai City Museum. Not really sure how it went._

Tsukishima was going to lock his phone and begin the drive home since his car was sufficiently warm now, but the three dots that indicated Oikawa was typing popped up and he found himself sitting and staring at his phone, waiting for Oikawa’s response. The dots disappeared and reappeared several times before they disappeared and didn’t show up again. Tsukishima felt oddly disappointed.

*****

He walked into their apartment about an hour later with Yamaguchi’s favorite sushi in hand. 

Yamaguchi was sitting on the couch, laptop balancing on his thighs, headphones in his ears. His long hair was tied on top of his head in a loose knot with a few stubborn strands hanging down around his freckled face, which was scrunched up in laughter. He was so beautiful it made Tsukishima ache. 

Yamaguchi looked up from his laptop and grinned at Tsukishima. “Welcome home, Tsukki!”

Tsukishima smiled and held up the bag of sushi and Yamaguchi perked up even more if that was possible.

“Did you get-"

“Spicy tuna rolls, yes,” Tsukishima answered before Yamaguchi could finish his question.

Yamaguchi threw up his fists in victory. “I love you so much,” he sighed dreamily. “Ah, Tooru says hi.”

Tsukishima nodded as he made his way to the kitchen, handing the bag of sushi to Yamaguchi on his way. “Hello, Oikawa,” he called just loudly enough for the mic on Yamaguchi’s headphones to pick him up.

Tsukishima grabbed some chopsticks and two glasses of water before returning to the living room and joining his Soulmate on the couch. Yamaguchi automatically scooted closer to him and shifted the laptop so it balanced on both of their laps before unplugging his headphones.

“Hi Tsukishima!” Oikawa’s bright voice chirped through the laptop speakers.

Tsukishima blinked at the screen lazily, looking at Oikawa through the Skype application. He was in his pajamas and sitting up in bed if the pillows behind his back were any indication, and he was blinking sleepily even though his voice sounded wide awake. It was oddly endearing. “Oikawa,” he acknowledged before reaching past Yamaguchi to grab his sushi.

“I’m excited to see you next week!” Oikawa continued, smiling widely. “What time does your flight get in again?”

Tsukishima groaned as he thought about the long flight that awaited them the next week. “3:25 PM California time.”

Oikawa nodded quickly, typing the info into his phone. “Gotcha! I’ll be there to pick you up,” he promised.

“Thanks Tooru,” Yamaguchi mumbled around a mouthful of sushi.

Tsukishima shook his head fondly. “You should try swallowing first, Tadashi. It’s rude to talk with your mouth full of food,” he teased.

Yamaguchi swallowed noisily and stuck his tongue out at Tsukishima before taking another bite of his sushi.

They finished eating their dinner amidst more bickering and idle chatter with Oikawa. Tsukishima knew Oikawa must be getting tired. It was almost 7 pm which would make it almost 2 am in California. Oikawa often stayed up way too late when he had his Skype sessions with Yamaguchi. They always started them at a reasonable time, but they lasted for hours on end usually. Tsukishima glanced at the call timer and sure enough the call had been connected for over five hours, longer even than their usual chats.

Yamaguchi passed the laptop fully over to Tsukishima and stood up, gathering their empty containers. “The garbage is full, so I’m gonna take it out real quick,” he said, making his way to the kitchen.

“I can take it if you want,” Tsukishima offered. That weird knot in his stomach returned when he thought about being alone with Oikawa even for just a few minutes.

Yamaguchi returned to the living room, carrying a full garbage bag. “Nah, I’ve got it. I’ll be right back. Don’t let Tooru fall asleep on me.” And then he was out the front door.

Tsukishima cleared his throat as discreetly as he could before returning his attention to the video call. Oikawa was regarding him carefully. The knot in Tsukishima’s stomach tightened, but he ignored it. They’d talked with each other without Yamaguchi many times before, this wasn’t anything new. They were friends after all.

“So, how did the interview go really?” Oikawa asked suddenly.

It caught Tsukishima by surprise when it really shouldn’t have. Oikawa was extremely observant. More observant than most people gave him credit for. Tsukishima sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Not as well as I’d hoped,” he admitted.

Oikawa nodded thoughtfully. “I figured. You have good intuition, so it felt off when you told me you weren’t sure how it went.”

Tsukishima closed his eyes and sighed again. It unsettled him how easily Oikawa was able to read him. “There’s always more places I can apply,” he mumbled.

“True, true,” Oikawa agreed. He paused for a moment and Tsukishima opened his eyes. Oikawa was staring at him intently, brows furrowed in some emotion Tsukishima couldn’t identify right away. “Is something else bothering you?” Oikawa questioned.

Tsukishima ignored the unease in his stomach again and shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. “Just tired.”

Oikawa narrowed his eyes and looked like he was just about to press it further when the front door opened and Yamaguchi returned. 

Tsukishima breathed a sigh of relief and passed the laptop back to Yamaguchi when he had sat down. “I’m going to take a shower,” he said, pressing a kiss to Yamaguchi’s temple. “I’ll see you next week, Oikawa.” He waved to the camera quickly before leaning away from Yamaguchi and standing up.

“See you, Tsukishima,” Oikawa mumbled. His voice sounded back to normal, if just slightly sleepy. “I should be going to bed anyway, it’s really late here.”

Tsukishima made his way down the hallway and into the bathroom while Oikawa and Yamaguchi said their goodbyes. He turned on the water and regarded his reflection in the mirror while it heated up. He was still in his interview clothes, though they were slightly more ruffled after sitting on the couch with Yamaguchi for the last hour. He shrugged out of his suit jacket and ran his hands through his hair. It was getting longer and just starting to curl below his ears. 

He leaned over and tested the water and, upon finding it heated nicely, finished stripping and stepped under the warm stream. He stood there for a moment, willing the warm water to relax his tense muscles. 

He had been extremely stressed out lately, too many things keeping him too tightly wound. He desperately wanted to get a job as a museum curator. He had the education for it and had even done several paid internships with museums over the last couple years, but for some reason he kept bombing interviews. His most recent internship had ended a couple months ago, so he was back to working at the coffee shop with Akaashi until he could either get another one or get a full-time position as a curator – hopefully the latter.

He didn’t mind the coffee shop, but it didn’t pay well, and the hours were not consistent. He wasn’t hurting for money really, but he did sometimes have to be a bit more frugal. Especially considering the cost of their upcoming trip to the States. Spending a month in the US was not going to be cheap, though they were lucky to have the biggest expense – room and board – taken care of thanks to Oikawa.

And of course, Oikawa himself. That was another huge stressor for Tsukishima. More and more lately, even just thinking about the older man caused Tsukishima’s anxiety to spike. He wasn’t used to feeling uneasy around his Soulmate’s boyfriend. He had been a little bit in the beginning of course, back when they had just started their open relationship and the dynamic was still so new to them all. But that unease had faded over time as Tsukishima and Oikawa gained a mutual understanding of each other. But now the unease was back in full force and Tsukishima didn’t know why. Or at least, he was trying very hard not to think about why. Putting it into words would make it real.

He shook his head quickly as if he could physically interrupt his train of thought and went about washing his body.

The door to the bathroom opened and Yamaguchi peeked his head around the shower curtain, grinning at Tsukishima. “Mind if I join you, Tsukki?” he asked.

Tsukishima shrugged before stepping aside to make room for Yamaguchi to step into the shower with him. Once he had, Yamaguchi’s arms circled around Tsukishima’s waist and he pulled the taller man in for a hug, burying his face into Tsukishima’s shoulder.

Tsukishima felt the tension leave his body almost immediately, the familiar warmth and comfort of his Soulmate relaxing him far more effectively than the warm water had.

They stood like that for a while longer before Yamaguchi pulled away and looked at Tsukishima. “So, how did the interview go?” he asked carefully.

Tsukishima sighed, though the tension stayed away thanks to Yamaguchi’s proximity. “Same as the last one,” he mumbled.

Yamaguchi leaned up and kissed under Tsukishima’s jaw before pulling back and reaching for the shampoo. “You’ll get the next one,” he said confidently, motioning for Tsukishima to turn around. Tsukishima complied, and Yamaguchi’s fingers on his scalp massaging shampoo into his hair were heaven.

They didn’t say anything else as Yamaguchi finished washing Tsukishima’s hair. They traded places so Tsukishima could rinse his hair, then he returned the favor, carding his fingers through Yamaguchi’s long locks. He pushed the shorter man’s bangs back gently, careful not to get shampoo in his eyes. They traded places again so Yamaguchi could rinse before the brunet pulled Tsukishima in for a warm kiss.

Tsukishima could spend hours kissing Yamaguchi. It was one of his favorite pastimes. The warm current that always seemed to radiate from his skin was even more electrifying when they were connected like this. He hands rested comfortably on Yamaguchi’s waist and pulled him in closer against his body as he deepened the kiss, finding so much comfort in their connection.

Yamaguchi pulled away after a couple minutes, breathing heavily and eyes heavily lidded with arousal. Tsukishima smirked, fingers rubbing small circles into Yamaguchi’s hips.

The shorter man stood up on tip toes so his mouth was right at Tsukishima’s ear. “So about that innuendo from earlier,” he whispered huskily.

Tsukishima couldn’t help rolling his eyes, though his erection resting on Yamaguchi’s pelvis gave away his clear interest. “It wasn’t meant to be an innuendo, Tadashi,” he murmured.

Yamaguchi shrugged and grinned. “So I have a dirty mind then, what else is new,” he said as he sank to his knees in front of Tsukishima, causing the latter’s brain to short circuit. “In any case, let me show you what I’m hungry for~”

*****

An hour, a fresh pair of sweatpants, and two mind-blowing orgasms later, Tsukishima found himself curled up in bed, just on the edge of unconsciousness. It was still relatively early – earlier than he normally would have gone to bed – but he was genuinely worn out. Yamaguchi was reading in the study so he wouldn’t disturb Tsukishima while he was trying to sleep.

Tsukishima rolled over and was just about to fall asleep when he realized his phone was still in the pocket of his interview slacks, which were still on the bathroom floor. He debated leaving it until morning, but he had promised Akaashi he’d be on call for tomorrow in case their regular morning barista called out again, and for that purpose he needed his phone to be both near him and fully charged.

He groaned as he crawled reluctantly out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. He quickly scooped up his slacks and reached into the pocket to pull his phone out before making his way back to the bedroom. He lay back down and plugged his phone into the charger by the bed, turning the screen on briefly to make sure the ringer was on in case Akaashi tried to call in the morning. 

The Facebook message notification caught him off guard and he found himself looking at Oikawa’s profile picture for the second time that day, the knot in his stomach quickly returning. He hesitated for a moment before tapping the bubble with a shaky finger, pulling up the conversation.

**From: Oikawa Tooru**  
_Sorry about earlier. You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, but just know that you can if you want to, okay? Have a good night, Tsukishima._

Tsukishima read the message over again three times. He suddenly felt wide awake. The unease was back in full force. What was bothering him specifically about Oikawa? 

He knew it wasn’t jealousy. He hadn’t ever really been jealous of Oikawa after he had met him. Even at the very beginning when they were figuring things out with Yamaguchi. He had been wary of Oikawa and uncertain around him, but never jealous. Even the fact that in less than a week Yamaguchi and Oikawa would be reunited didn’t faze him in the slightest. 

_It is jealousy, you idiot,_ he thought to himself. _It’s just not jealously of Oikawa._ Tsukishima shook his head rapidly, trying to stop his thoughts like he had earlier, subconsciously knowing where they were heading, and wanting desperately to stop them before they could get there. _You’re jealous of Tadashi,_ his errant thoughts continued without his permission. _Because…_ Tsukishima pressed the heels of his hands over his eyes, but he knew it was too late. He knew. _Because you like Oikawa._

He was still wide awake when Yamaguchi came to bed hours later.


	2. The Two of Us So Out of Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: So, Tsukishima is the hardest character for you to write?  
> Also me: Yep! I'm real bad at writing his character lol  
> *proceeds to write a fic from Tsukki's perspective where it gets _introspective._  
>  Yep, this is fine!
> 
> I'm going to try to do consistent updates on Mondays and Fridays for now, but may switch to just once a week the further along it gets. We shall see

Tsukishima tried to sleep on the flight. He really did. They would be spending over 13 hours in the air, not counting their two-hour layover. He hadn’t been sleeping well since his realization the prior week, and he was tired, exhausted even, but he couldn’t stop thinking long enough to sleep. He knew Yamaguchi was worried about him, but the younger man thought it was just stress from job hunting causing Tsukishima’s lack of sleep. 

He knew he needed to tell Yamaguchi. He couldn’t keep a secret like this from his Soulmate, but he had given himself a few days to be sure, hoping he could find another plausible explanation for his feelings. But none had come. He was fairly sure Yamaguchi wouldn’t be angry with him. Or at least, he hoped he wouldn’t be. He thought back to their conversation in the airport terminal when Oikawa had left back in the spring. He had admitted to caring for and respecting Oikawa – though strictly platonically – and Yamaguchi had been over the moon at the prospect of he and Oikawa getting along and being friends. This was quite a bit different than being friends though, and he honestly had no idea how Yamaguchi would respond to that.

Truthfully, Tsukishima didn’t want to like Oikawa. He was bratty and irritating and annoying, and he knew how to push all of Tsukishima’s buttons. By all accounts he shouldn’t like Oikawa. Apart from his looks there shouldn’t have been anything there that attracted Tsukishima – though his looks did attract him quite a bit; he had a thing for pouty brunets. But Oikawa did have good qualities. He was fiercely loyal and protective and so very intelligent. He was dedicated and passionate and Tsukishima really enjoyed listening to Oikawa ramble about his work and his interests. Oikawa was a good person, and that made it more difficult for Tsukishima to convince himself he didn’t like him.

Yamaguchi’s legs were bouncing in his periphery, which briefly distracted him from his thoughts. He glanced at his Soulmate who was biting his lower lip and gripping the armrests next to his seat tightly. This was the first time Yamaguchi had been on an airplane and it looked like he was going to be a nervous flyer.

Tsukishima ran his hand down Yamaguchi’s arm softly, trying to reassure him. They hadn’t been in the air long, but they had already hit a bit of turbulence which was putting the younger man on edge. His hand reached down to Yamaguchi’s wrist and the latter released his death grip on the armrest and turned his hand up to grasp Tsukishima’s hand. 

“I hate this,” Yamaguchi groaned, lowering his head to rest on Tsukishima’s shoulder, screwing his eyes shut and shuddering as another bolt of turbulence shook the cabin. 

Tsukishima squeezed Yamaguchi’s hand encouragingly. “It’ll be all worth it to see Oikawa though,” he reminded him. 

Yamaguchi sighed and relaxed ever so slightly, though he was still very tense. “Yeah, it’s worth it,” he agreed.

Tsukishima turned his head slightly and pressed a kiss to the top of Yamaguchi’s head. “Tell me what you’re most excited about,” he encouraged. “Talking is a good distraction.”

Yamaguchi was quiet for a moment and Tsukishima would have thought the younger man had fallen asleep if it weren’t for the death grip still on his hand. “I’m just excited to have him in my arms again,” came Yamaguchi’s soft answer.

Tsukishima hummed quietly in acknowledgement.

“I just…” Yamaguchi paused. “I miss him so much it hurts,” he admitted. “We’ve been together for almost seven years, and this is the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing him, even including when we broke up last year.” He winced at the painful memory but continued. “I know we call and Skype all the time, but I just miss being able to hug him and have him physically close.” Yamaguchi took a deep steadying breath and his grip on Tsukishima’s hand lessened slightly, his anxiety easing up. “I love him so much, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima threaded their fingers together and rested his cheek on Yamaguchi’s head. “I know, Tadashi. I’m glad you’re able to see him again.”

They were quiet for a while. Yamaguchi seemed much calmer now, and Tsukishima felt like he might actually be able to sleep for a bit. Just as he was drifting off Yamaguchi spoke again. “Is the flight making you anxious too, Tsukki?”

Tsukishima started and blinked a few times. “Not really. Flying doesn’t really bother me,” he murmured.

Yamaguchi pulled away from the blond slightly so he could turn to look at him, curiosity in his yes. “Oh. You were tracing your Soul Mark earlier. You usually do that when you’re nervous or thinking too much,” Yamaguchi explained, gesturing towards Tsukishima’s right wrist where Yamaguchi’s first words to him were tattooed. _Mind if I call you Tsukki?_

He hadn’t realized he’d been doing that. It must have been when he was thinking about Oikawa. Tsukishima shrugged. “I guess I am just thinking a lot. But I’m not anxious,” he fibbed. Or maybe it was a half-truth. He wasn’t anxious about flying anyway. 

Yamaguchi hummed and leaned back down to rest his head on Tsukishima’s shoulder again. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

Was now the time to talk to Yamaguchi about his feelings? Tsukishima considered it for a moment. He did need to tell him. Sooner rather than later. But then again, an eight-hour red eye flight may not be the best setting. Maybe it would be better to wait until their layover when they’d have a couple hours before their next flight and could likely find somewhere more private to talk for a bit.

“Maybe later.”

*****

They both breathed a sigh of relief when they stepped off the plane at the airport in Honolulu. Standing up and moving around after sitting for eight hours was such a relief on their sore muscles. The sun was just starting to come up and Tsukishima glanced at his phone. It was just about 6:30 in the morning local time. He did the math quickly in his head. It was about 1:30 am back home. 

They hadn’t managed to get much sleep on the flight. Tsukishima had given up after a while, his mind not letting him find a moment of peace. Yamaguchi had done a little better, nodding off every now and then, but never for more than a few minutes at a time, starting awake every time they encountered more turbulence. They were exhausted and only about halfway done with their trip. 

They stumbled through the terminal looking for an area to sit and hopefully rest a bit before they needed to board their next flight. 

“What time is it in LA right now?” Yamaguchi asked, eyes scanning the terminal.

“About 8:30,” Tsukishima answered automatically, spotting an unpopulated section of benches in a corner and steering Yamaguchi towards it.

Yamaguchi nodded as they approached the corner and pulled out his phone, quickly scrolling through the contacts until he found the one he was looking for. He pressed the phone to his ear and waited. Tsukishima knew immediately when Oikawa answered because Yamaguchi’s face lit up so spectacularly. “Hi Tooru!” he greeted.

Tsukishima fiddled with his hands anxiously while Yamaguchi talked. He was still trying to figure how to start the conversation they needed to have.

“Yeah, we just got to Honolulu,” Yamaguchi yawned into the phone. “It was a long flight.”

Yamaguchi reached across Tsukishima to take his left hand in his while he listened to Oikawa’s response, making Tsukishima realize he’d been subconsciously tracing his Soul Mark again. Yamaguchi’s thumb traced gentle patterns onto the back of his hand.

“We’ll be boarding in about an hour and a half,” Yamaguchi continued. “Yep, everything’s on schedule. Yeah, I will. I’ll text you when we’re boarding. I love you, too.” He hung up and yawned, stretching his arms above his head.

Tsukishima couldn’t resist leaning over and pressing a kiss to a smattering of freckles below his eye. His Soulmate was adorable when he was sleepy.

Yamaguchi giggled and pulled Tsukishima back in for a proper kiss before yawning again against Tsukishima’s lips. 

Tsukishima snorted. “You should probably try to sleep a bit before we leave.” Part of Tsukishima was kicking himself. He was supposed to be talking to Yamaguchi. But they were both exhausted. This probably wasn’t the best time to be having a serious discussion anyway.

Soft, sleepy brown eyes blinked up at him slowly. “You should too,” he admonished, bringing a finger up to trace the dark circles under Tsukishima’s eyes.

“Someone needs to keep an eye on the time so that we don’t miss our flight, Tadashi,” he reminded. “I’ll try and sleep on the plane,” he promised. He couldn’t guarantee that he would actually sleep, but he would try.

Yamaguchi regarded him carefully before he nodded, acquiescing. He yawned again before shifting on the bench so that he was laying down with his head in Tsukishima’s lap, humming happily when Tsukishima’s fingers started carding through his hair. His eyes closed quickly, and it wasn’t long before he was asleep.

Tsukishima continued gently stroking his Soulmate’s hair as he stared down at Yamaguchi’s sleeping face. He was struck again – as he often was – by how incredibly lucky he was to have him. They had only been together for a bit over a year now, but it had felt like they’d known each other forever. He supposed that was par for the course with Soulmates though.

He traced the fingers of his free hand gently over the constellation of freckles on Yamaguchi’s cheek, basking in the familiar warmth that always managed to calm and steady him. Yamaguchi sighed softly and his lips twitched, smiling ever so slightly in his sleep. Tsukishima smiled down at his sleeping face. God, he loved him so fucking much.

He felt his phone vibrate once in his pocket and he maneuvered very carefully to take it out so that he wouldn’t jostle and wake Yamaguchi. He unlocked it and his heart started hammering when he saw the Facebook messenger notification from Oikawa. He gripped his phone tighter before hesitatingly opening the conversation. He hadn’t heard from Oikawa directly since he’d sent that message the prior week that had indirectly made Tsukishima finally admit to himself that he liked the older man. The message that he still hadn’t responded to.

**From: Oikawa Tooru**  
_I’m excited to see you! Have a safe flight and see you soon!_

Tsukishima could feel himself blushing embarrassingly. He hated how much of an affect Oikawa had on him. Now that he had had a few days to come to terms with his crush – god how pathetic; he felt like he was back in high school – he understood the feeling in his stomach a bit better. It was a winning combination of anxiety and _anticipation._ He looked forward to hearing from Oikawa, to seeing him, while at the same time dreading it. 

He glared down at his phone for a moment, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth before he finally responded with his usual snark.

**To: Oikawa Tooru**  
_I have no direct control over the safety of the flight._

Oikawa responded almost immediately.

**From: Oikawa Tooru**  
_Fine. Have a flight._

**To: Oikawa Tooru**  
_Better._

Tsukishima paused, heartbeat picking up again before typing one more sentence.

**To: Oikawa Tooru**  
_I’m excited to see you too._


	3. My Feelings Written on My Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And immediately after deciding on a schedule for uploading I am already off schedule, whoops. This chapter should have been up yesterday, but instead I watched "Haikyuu charcters as Tik Toks" for 11 hours and did zero other things. 
> 
> I was just going over my chapter outlines and I think this story may end up being like 14 or 15 chapters? I'm hesitant to put an exact number on it yet, but I guess we'll see. It's for sure going to end up being longer than Almost Lovers though which is Wild™ to me.

The second flight, though shorter than the first, seemed to take twice as long. Despite being exhausted, neither of them was able to sleep. The closer they got to LA the more anticipation and anxiety swirled in Tsukishima’s stomach.

The short text exchange with Oikawa had been too much for his nerves. But it hadn’t been enough. He was genuinely excited to see the other. And that excitement mixed oddly with the anxiety and uncertainty. Oikawa was so fucking observant, and if he caught on to Tsukishima’s feelings, the blond would probably die of embarrassment.

Tsukishima was usually good at hiding his feelings behind a mask of apathy. Yamaguchi could easily get past those walls, but he thought he could get away with it around Oikawa. At least enough to fly under the radar. Oikawa would probably be too distracted by Yamaguchi to pay attention to Tsukishima too closely anyway. Or so he hoped.

The captain’s voice came out over the intercom announcing their incoming landing and Yamaguchi perked up. He had done better on this flight. There had been less turbulence, but Tsukishima knew the younger man couldn’t wait to no longer be in the sky. The fact that his long-time boyfriend was waiting for them on the ground was also a huge draw.

They fastened their seatbelts and Yamaguchi grabbed Tsukishima’s hand reflexively as they began their decent.

*****

As soon as they stepped out into the terminal Yamaguchi’s eyes were frantically sweeping the area, looking for any sign of Oikawa. Tsukishima grabbed his arm gently and steered him towards the baggage claim. His Soulmate’s mouth turned down into an endearing pout.

“Oikawa said he’d meet us in the main lobby,” he reminded him. “Let’s get our bags so we can go meet him.”

Yamaguchi couldn’t argue with his logic and he nodded quickly, scampering ahead. 

It took them about 15 minutes to get all their luggage and then they were on their way out of the terminal. As they were descending the escalator to the main lobby, Yamaguchi gasped and shook Tsukishima’s shoulder excitedly as he pointed down into the throngs of people, a huge grin on his face. Tsukishima looked in the direction Yamaguchi was pointing, and his eyes immediately landed on Oikawa. His stomach twisted with the conflicting emotions again, more powerfully than before.

His hair was, as usual, styled to perfection and his brown eyes shone brightly behind his glasses. He looked really, really good in glasses. The widest grin spread across his face when he noticed them, and he raised one hand to wave enthusiastically. He was way too attractive for his own good.

It was a testament to Oikawa’s attractiveness that it took several seconds before Tsukishima noticed the rather large pick-up sign in Oikawa’s other hand. His eyes widened slightly when he read it. 

**My beautiful boyfriend and his amazing Soulmate!**

Half of Tsukishima’s mind was taken aback by the fact that Oikawa would broadcast their unconventional relationship dynamic, but he shrugged it off. It was unlikely that many of the people milling around them could read Japanese anyway. The other half of his mind was preoccupied with the fact that Oikawa had referred to Tsukishima as amazing.

As soon as they were off the escalator Yamaguchi was running towards Oikawa, paying no mind to any of the people between them. Tsukishima followed after him at a more reasonable pace, apologizing to a few people that Yamaguchi had unknowingly bumped into as he tore across the lobby in his hurry to get to Oikawa.

As soon as they met, Yamaguchi dropped his luggage and threw himself into Oikawa’s waiting arms – the latter having dropped his sign in just enough time to catch the younger man. Oikawa spun them around once laughing loudly while Yamaguchi peppered his face with kisses. “I missed you too, Tada-chan,” he sighed happily.

Tsukishima’s lips turned up at the scene as he finally reached them. The joy on Yamaguchi’s face was staggering and was mirrored almost perfectly by Oikawa’s as they grinned at each other. Oikawa set Yamaguchi back on his feet and then pulled the younger man in for a proper kiss.

For one moment Tsukishima allowed himself to wonder what it would be like to kiss Oikawa, to feel the brunet’s warm lips against his own. He reined in his thoughts quickly before quirking his mouth into his trademark smirk. “Are you two planning to make out much longer?” he quipped. “If so, let me know. I have a book I can read while I wait.”

Oikawa broke away from the kiss and turned to glare playfully at Tsukishima. “Ah, there’s my favorite stick-in-the-mud.” A genuine smile broke out across his face then, and Tsukishima’s suddenly had difficulty breathing. Oikawa stepped forward and pulled Tsukishima into a hug. The latter stiffened slightly before relaxing and hugging Oikawa back – albeit a bit awkwardly due to the luggage he was still holding.

“It’s so good to see you, Tsukishima!” Oikawa enthused before releasing his hold on the blond.

Tsukishima nodded, ignoring the disappointment he felt at the loss of contact. It was going to be a long month. “You too.”

Oikawa leaned down to pick up his sign and tucked it under his arm. “I took a cab here so we’ll need to get another one back, but they should have a service for that around here somewhere,” he said, eyes roaming the area before he found what he was looking for. “Over there!” he exclaimed, pointing out a transport service on the other side of the lobby by a side doorway.

“You’re both probably exhausted and starving,” Oikawa continued as they made their way through the crowds of people. “Do you want to get lunch or just get settled and rest?”

Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi and shrugged. “I’m fine with either. Tadashi?”

Yamaguchi yawned which was probably answer enough. “Mmm, rest.”

“Okay!” Oikawa agreed easily as they arrived at their destination. He approached the counter and spoke with the receptionist quickly to book their cab. Tsukishima was impressed by his proficiency in English – though he’d been living here for a while, so it made sense that he’d acclimated.

Before long they were sandwiched into the back of a cab and heading towards Oikawa’s apartment. Yamaguchi held Tsukishima’s hand and leaned his head against Oikawa’s shoulder while the older man chattered away about things they should do while they were here. It had been a while since the three of them had been together like this, but it was already starting to feel normal again. Or, almost normal anyway. The desire to reach across Yamaguchi and rest his free hand on Oikawa’s leg was new and Tsukishima clenched his fist tightly as if willing it to stay motionless on his own lap.

“Look Tsukishima!” Oikawa called, pointing out his window. “There’s the Natural History Museum. We’ll have to go there while you’re here.”

Tsukishima leaned slightly over Yamaguchi to get a better look out Oikawa’s window. The museum was breathtaking. It was a large building, and the architecture was beautiful. It looked like there was a wing where the walls were made of glass. His eyes flicked to glance at Oikawa and he found the older man looking at him, watching his reaction, a soft expectant smile on his face.

Tsukishima cleared his throat before he leaned back in his seat and shrugged. “I’m always down for a visit to a good museum,” he agreed.

Oikawa and Yamaguchi fell back into their chatter. Tsukishima listened with half an ear, but he was mostly immersed in his thoughts. It wasn’t a secret that Tsukishima liked history. It’s what he majored in after all, and he had worked in museums off and on for the last couple years and was trying to secure a permanent position at one, so it really wasn’t a stretch at all to assume Tsukishima would want to go to the Natural History Museum while they were there. But the fact that Oikawa had thought of Tsukishima’s interests at all made him happy. Ridiculously happy. God, he needed to get over this crush.

Tsukishima looked out his window at the passing scenery as they made their way through downtown LA. Tsukishima was surprised by the amount of traffic, but the cab driver was knowledgeable about the area and was adept at finding routes that avoided the worst of the congestion. 

Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows. It looked like they were heading out of Los Angeles – according to the passing signs anyway. “You don’t live in LA?” he asked, turning in Oikawa’s direction, accidentally cutting the older man off in the middle of something he was telling Yamaguchi excitedly. Tsukishima really hadn’t been paying much attention. 

Oikawa didn’t look offended though, just slightly curious. “Not technically. I live in Pasadena, which is about 10 miles away. Some people consider it a subdivision of LA, but they’re officially different cities. It’s closer to work and rent is a bit cheaper, so it made more sense.”

Tsukishima nodded. “Ah.” He turned back towards his window.

“I didn’t know you could read English that well, Tsukishima.” Oikawa’s voice was closer than it had been before, and Tsukishima turned to see Oikawa’s face very near his, the latter having leaned over to look out Tsukishima’s window, observing the signs that announced the end of the city limits of Los Angeles proper. Tsukishima’s eyes widened and his mind went blank as Oikawa’s brown eyes met his. Tsukishima had no idea what expression was on his own face, but Oikawa was staring at him intently. What had they been talking about?

He was saved by Yamaguchi. “Tsukki’s mom grew up in the States,” he explained. “So he grew up speaking both Japanese and English.”

“Really?” Oikawa asked, eyes widening before grinning. “That’s awesome! You’ll have to give me lessons sometime. I’ve picked up enough to get by, but my phrasing is definitely awkward.”

Tsukishima’s brain finally caught up to the conversation and he cleared his throat as quietly as he could before he smirked and adjusted his glasses. “My tutoring services aren’t free,” he joked.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows. “Oh yeah? Name your price,” he played along.

Tsukishima tapped his chin as if considering. “Hmmm. I’m not sure. Make an offer I guess, and we’ll see.” 

Oikawa’s smile widened. “I’ll have to think on that and come up with something good.”

Tsukishima felt his lips twitch into a genuine smile and then he blinked rapidly as he realized their conversation felt a bit too much like flirting for his comfort. So much for acting normal. Or maybe it just seemed like flirting to him because he’d spent so much time lately thinking about his crush. Maybe it was just their usual banter. 

“Sure, sure,” he mumbled, leaning back in his seat. God, had he been subconsciously leaning forward?

Oikawa laughed and leaned back as well, picking back up his easy conversation with Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima glanced at them out of the corner of his eye and he noticed Yamaguchi shoot him a questioning look briefly before turning back to Oikawa. So the interaction had seemed out of place to Yamaguchi, too. Shit.

Tsukishima pulled his headphones over his ears and resolutely stared out the cab window for the rest of the drive.


	4. That's the Way Life Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pros of my best friend being my beta reader: She isn't afraid to hound me to keep writing  
> Cons of my best friend being my beta reader: I'm not afraid to leave her on read and ignore her
> 
> I'm currently working on chapter 7 of this fic and it's giving me so many issues. The writer's block is real. At least I have another week to figure it out before I'm out of chapters to publish I guess?
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos and comments; they make my day! I didn't think anyone would really be interested in this dumb little sequel fic of mine, but I'm glad people are enjoying it~

Oikawa’s apartment was modest and perfectly sized for one person, though Tsukishima thought it might start to feel a bit crowded with the three of them there over the course of the month. The front door opened to a small living room on the left and an open kitchen on the right. The living room was decorated with minimal furniture. A sleek faux-leather sofa sat against one wall with a low coffee table in front of it, which was covered in papers and a laptop. A wall-mounted television was hung up on the opposite wall and there was a bookcase in the corner. Tsukishima liked its simplicity.

They kicked off their shoes in the entryway and Oikawa gestured around the living room grandly. “Luxury accommodations, as you can see.”

“I like it!” Yamaguchi gushed, wrapping an arm around Oikawa’s waist and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek before yawning.

Oikawa chuckled. “Why don’t you nap for a bit, Tada-chan?” He brought his hand up to cup Yamaguchi’s cheek, thumb gently caressing the skin under his eye. “You’ve got to be exhausted. The initial jet lag is no joke.”

Yamaguchi hummed and nodded, leaning into Oikawa’s hand. 

Tender affection spread across Oikawa’s face, and he leaned in to replace his thumb with his lips, pressing gentle kisses to Yamaguchi’s freckles.

Tsukishima shuffled over to Oikawa’s bookshelf, trying to give them some semblance of privacy for this sickeningly sweet moment. Oikawa had an even mixture of books in Japanese and English and Tsukishima perked up, looking at the titles more closely. Most of them were modern popular fiction which wasn’t really Tsukishima’s preference, but he did spot a few titles that interested him. His eyes lingered on an English copy of Les Miserables. Unabridged. He’d never read the English translation and he wondered how Hugo’s excessive descriptions translated to the language. Once he finished the book he was currently reading he’d have to read it.

“Do you want to come lie down with me, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked, bringing Tsukishima’s attention back to his Soulmate. The younger man’s cheeks were flushed pink with an adorable blush and his eyes were so sleepy. His hair was messy and tangled, but still somehow managed to look soft. He was so beautiful Tsukishima almost couldn’t handle it.

He considered the offer. He knew he was exhausted. He would be even if he hadn’t had trouble sleeping for the last week after the long journey they’d been on. But it was only about 4:30 and if Tsukishima fell asleep now it might take longer for him to adjust to the new time zone – assuming he’d be able to fall asleep in the first place. It was probably better for him to stay up until it was time to go to bed and hope pure exhaustion let him sleep through the night. 

“You go ahead,” he said. “I think a nap would just make it harder for me to adjust.” He knew Yamaguchi wouldn’t have that same problem. Yamaguchi loved napping and even if he slept for a couple hours now, he’d have no problem sleeping that night as well.

“Oh, I cleared out a couple drawers in the dresser for you both so that you don’t have to live out of your suitcases while you’re here,” Oikawa piped in. “The bedroom is back here.” Oikawa led them down a short hallway and opened one of the two doors. “The bathroom is just there,” Oikawa pointed towards the other door. “And now you’ve pretty much had the grand tour,” he said as he opened the bedroom door. Like the rest of the apartment, it was simple and small. A queen-sized bed was pressed against one wall, the bedding unkempt and disheveled. A large wooden dresser sat against another wall with an array of framed photographs on top of it, and a couple random posters were scattered around the otherwise bare walls. 

“The two top drawers are empty,” Oikawa said. “I have a bit of work to do in the living room, so I’ll let you get settled. Get some rest, Tada-chan,” he instructed before leaving them to unpack.

Tsukishima dropped his luggage in front of the dresser before turning and grabbing Yamaguchi’s bags from his hands. “You go lie down. I can put everything away.” 

Yamaguchi nodded sleepily, surrendering his luggage and shuffling to Oikawa’s bed. Tsukishima knew he’d be asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.  
He turned back to the dresser and, now that he was closer, he could see the pictures in the frames clearly. There was another copy of Oikawa’s Facebook profile picture and Tsukishima found his lips turning up slightly as he studied Oikawa and Yamaguchi’s matching grins. There was a recent picture of Oikawa’s childhood friend Iwaizumi and his family. Tsukishima wasn’t a huge fan of children, but Iwaizumi Nagisa had to be one of the cutest babies he’d ever seen. There were a few more scattered pictures of Yamaguchi and some people Tsukishima didn’t know, including one that he assumed was Oikawa’s parents. He could see the resemblance in their faces. 

One final picture caught his eye, and he felt the now familiar fluttering sensation settle in his stomach. The picture was simple. Tsukishima was looking at the camera with a deadpan expression while Yamaguchi pressed a kiss to his cheek. It had been taken only a couple months ago. Yamaguchi must have sent it to Oikawa. Or maybe the older man had gotten it off Facebook. It was just a picture, but Tsukishima couldn’t help but feel that it was significant somehow – or maybe he just wanted it to be. 

He sighed and set about the task of unpacking his and Yamaguchi’s luggage and storing their clothes neatly in the top two drawers. When he was finished with the clothes, he grabbed their toiletry cases and set them aside so he could take them to the bathroom and made a pile of odds and ends – his book, their phone chargers, a deck of cards, Yamaguchi’s laptop. Once the luggage sets were empty, he stacked them neatly next to the dresser against the wall so that they’d be out of the way.

He turned to look at Yamaguchi who was already deeply asleep, arms encircled around one of Oikawa’s pillows. He’d likely start drooling soon. Tsukishima smiled softly at his Soulmate, affection swelling in his chest. God, he loved him.

He grabbed his book and their toiletry cases and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door silently behind him. He deposited their toiletries in the bathroom on his way back out to the living room. 

It was just as he was rounding the corner into the living room that he realized that he was going to be alone with Oikawa for a while and his stomach clenched in dread/excitement. 

Oikawa was sitting in the middle of the couch, typing away at his laptop, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He must have sensed Tsukishima staring at him, because he paused and glanced up, smiling. “He asleep?” he asked.

Tsukishima nodded. “Pretty much immediately.”

Oikawa laughed. “Yeah, that tracks,” he said fondly before his eyes lowered back to his laptop. “Was there enough space for your stuff?” he asked, as he tapped away at the keys. “I can empty another drawer if you need.”

Tsukishima shook his head at the offer, even though Oikawa wasn’t looking him. “No need, there was plenty of space. Thank you.”

Oikawa smiled again. He stopped typing for a moment to scoot to one side of the couch, making room for Tsukishima. 

Tsukishima hesitated for only a moment before he sat in the open space. He opened his book for something to do and tried to concentrate on reading it, but he found himself reading the same paragraph over and over. He was hyper-aware of Oikawa sitting just about a foot away from him and it was very distracting. 

He gave up after five minutes and lowered his book to this lap. “What are you writing?” he asked.

Oikawa was quiet for a moment as he typed, and Tsukishima thought maybe he hadn’t heard him and was going to try to go back to his book when Oikawa looked up. “A report on wildfires.” He must have seen the confusion that crossed Tsukishima’s face because he elaborated. “Fires have a lot of effects on the atmosphere and the Earth’s system in general. My team is specifically studying the California wildfires from the last few years and the long-term effects they’re causing.”

“Ah, that makes more sense,” Tsukishima nodded. “How’s it going?” He should probably leave Oikawa alone, but the older man didn’t seem bothered by his questions at least.

Oikawa groaned. “It’s going so slow. I was hoping to be done before you guys got here. I’m trying to edit as I go, but written English is so confusing. There are just too many rules,” Oikawa whined. “I already have to go in to work tomorrow and Friday before I’m able to take time off. I was hoping to at least have this done so I wouldn’t be distracted when I was here.”

Tsukishima hummed. “I can help you edit if that would help,” he offered.

“You’d do that?” Oikawa gaped. “That’s uncharacteristically nice of you.”

Tsukishima scoffed. “I’m not _always_ an asshole. I just figured it’d be faster for you to just write without worrying about the grammar and fix it later. I’m sure I can edit faster than you can anyway.” He couldn’t help antagonizing Oikawa slightly. 

Oikawa pouted at him and narrowed his eyes. “Confident, aren’t you?” he grumbled, then sighed. “I can’t argue with that though. It would be really helpful.” He paused for a bit, starting to type again. He glanced at Tsukishima out of the corner of his eye. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“Mhmmm,” Tsukishima acknowledged before opening his book again. It was easier to concentrate this time, and he got pulled into the story, the only sounds in the room the clacking of Oikawa’s laptop keys and the occasional page turning of Tsukishima’s book. It was an oddly comfortable atmosphere.

He didn’t know how long they sat there together, but when Oikawa finally sighed and closed his laptop, it was dark outside.

Tsukishima glanced up from his book. “Finished?” 

Oikawa shook his head. “Almost. I need my team’s reports for the rest though, so I’ll finish it at work tomorrow.” He glanced at his watch. “Plus, it’s way past time for dinner.”

Now that Oikawa brought it up, Tsukishima realized he was starving. They hadn’t eaten much on the flight, mostly just snack foods, and they had been far from filling. It had probably been over 24 hours since they’d had a decent meal.

“Does pizza sound okay?” Oikawa asked, pulling out his phone. “I wanted to make something homemade, but I think it’s a bit too late for that,” he frowned.

“Pizza’s fine with me,” Tsukishima answered. “You can be sappy and domestic and make dinner tomorrow. Tadashi will swoon, I’m sure.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes, but his lips quirked up in a smile. He tapped on his phone for a minute and Tsukishima went back to his book. 

About 20 minutes later Oikawa spoke again. “Are you waking Tada-chan, or am I?”

Tsukishima scoffed, not looking up from his book. “I think you’re long overdue for a turn. And since he hasn’t seen you in so long, he may not be grouchy if you’re the one who wakes him up.”

Oikawa snorted. “I doubt it. But yeah, I guess that’s fair. But if he ends up biting my head off, I’m not leaving you anything in my will.”

“Oh no, however will I survive,” Tsukishima drawled, turning a page while Oikawa went to wake up his sleeping boyfriend.

Yamaguchi suffered from what was colloquially known as “Sleepy Bitch Disease”, and sadly it seemed to be incurable. It had become an inside joke between Oikawa and Tsukishima during the couple months that they had all (more or less) lived together. When Yamaguchi woke up on his own, he was perfectly pleasant. But if he was woken up before he was ready, he could be incredibly ornery.

He could hear Oikawa speaking softly from the bedroom, but he couldn’t make out his words. He recognized Yamaguchi’s groggy voice, sharp for only a moment before it softened. He couldn’t hear anything else from them for a few minutes before finally two sets of soft footsteps made their way back down the hallway and into the living room.

Yamaguchi’s hair was officially a disaster. It was sticking up in every direction like a bird’s nest and Tsukishima couldn’t help but snicker. Yamaguchi’s eyes were still heavy with sleep, but his cheeks were flushed, and his lips were red and obviously well kissed. Well, that was one way to put a sleepy Yamaguchi in a good mood, he supposed.

“I see your head is still intact,” Tsukishima deadpanned, looking at Oikawa. “But it looks like he did bite,” he added, noticing a small red hickey on the older man’s neck that hadn’t been there before.

Oikawa just laughed while Yamaguchi stuck his tongue out at Tsukishima. 

There was a knock on the front door and Oikawa went to answer it while Yamaguchi shuffled over to the couch to curl up against Tsukishima’s side, his eyes already starting to close again.

“Hey,” Tsukishima murmured, bumping his arm against Yamaguchi. “You can go back to bed soon, but you really need to eat something first, okay?” 

Yamaguchi whined in protest but nodded anyway. 

Oikawa returned then with the pizza and joined them on the sofa. He caught Yamaguchi up on his work plans for the next couple days and promised they would do something fun that weekend.

“It’s probably for the best,” Yamaguchi yawned. “I think it’s going to take me a couple days to adjust to the time change, so I probably wouldn’t be much fun anyway.”

They ate in silence, too tired to keep up much of a conversation, but none of them seemed to mind. 

Once they were finished eating, Oikawa started clearing the coffee table while Yamaguchi trudged back down the hallway – back to bed, Tsukishima was almost positive.

Tsukishima yawned. The exceptionally long day was finally starting to catch up to him now and he could feel his eyelids growing heavier. 

Tsukishima stood and made his way down the hallway to the bedroom to grab a pair of sweatpants from the dresser. Yamaguchi was already in Oikawa’s bed, snoring softly. Tsukishima smiled fondly as he changed into his sweats and an old ratty t-shirt before heading back out to the living room.

He ran into Oikawa in the hallway as the latter came out of the bathroom. “Do you have any extra bedding?” Tsukishima asked.

Oikawa paused and looked at Tsukishima in confusion. “Uh, I think so. Why?”

Tsukishima blinked. “So that I can make up the couch and go to bed?”

Understanding lit up Oikawa’s brown eyes briefly before he rolled them and scoffed. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch, Tsukishima,” he said. “It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.”

Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows. “I mean… Yeah, but our bed back home is really big. Your bed here is smaller, and it’d be more crowded.”

“That’s quitter talk, my dear Tsukishima.”

Tsukishima wasn’t sure what had done it. Maybe it was the taunt, or the being called “dear” by his crush, or maybe he was just too tired to argue, but five minutes later he found himself in Oikawa’s bed with Yamaguchi – still sleeping peacefully – curled up against his chest and Oikawa on Yamaguchi’s other side, spooning him. It was every bit as crowded as Tsukishima thought it would be, but it was actually kind of nice.

Tsukishima closed his eyes and turned his face into the pillow – noting in the back of his mind that it smelled like Oikawa – and, for the first time in almost a week, he fell into an easy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima is a nerd who is super excited about reading an 1,100+ page book for FUN and ENJOYMENT. In another world he could have studied literature instead of history


	5. Oh God, I Feel So Unprepared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look at that, the E rating of this fic kicks in a little bit, though the scene is very short haha - there will be a couple more in depth scenes later if that's what you're here for ;)
> 
> I've really enjoyed writing these early chapters of this story because they highlight Yamaguchi and Tsukishima's relationship so much and we didn't really get to see that much of their relationship in Almost Lovers apart from a couple scenes here and there, so this has been really fun! TsukkiYama is the OG OTP for me, so it's like going back to my roots :') They just really love each other, okay?

Tsukishima woke up to gentle fingers in his hair and Yamaguchi’s voice humming softly next to him. He sighed contentedly and cracked an eye open. Yamaguchi’s face was close enough to his that he could see him clearly even without his glasses on. 

“Are you seriously humming Fireflies?” he teased.

Yamaguchi chuckled. “It’s catchy,” he said in his defense, fingers still massaging over Tsukishima’s scalp. It felt heavenly.

He closed his eyes again and just enjoyed the sensation while he listened to Yamaguchi’s slightly off-key humming. He was so content and well-rested, and he didn’t want to move.

When Yamaguchi reached the end of the song he leaned in and pressed soft lips to Tsukishima’s jaw. The blond’s lips quirked up and his eyes fluttered open, as Yamaguchi kissed him again at the corner of his mouth. Tsukishima brought his hand up and twisted his fingers gently into Yamaguchi’s hair before pulling the younger man in in for a proper kiss, which turned into a series of sweet kisses.

Tsukishima hummed in the back of his throat as Yamaguchi deepened the kiss and their tongues met. He must have brushed his teeth recently because Tsukishima could taste mint. He was sure he himself had morning breath, but Yamaguchi didn’t seem to mind.

After a few minutes of lazy making out, Tsukishima pulled back slightly, a fond smile on his lips. “Good morning, Tadashi.”

Yamaguchi smirked at him. “I think you mean afternoon, Tsukki,” he laughed.

Tsukishima blinked and turned to look at the window. The light did seem a bit too bright for morning. “God, how long did I sleep?” he asked.

“Like 14 hours,” Yamaguchi answered, sounding impressed. “We were surprised when you didn’t wake up when Tooru’s alarm went off. You’re usually such a light sleeper, but you didn’t even budge. Tooru wanted to wake you up to make sure you were okay, but you were breathing so we decided against it.” Yamaguchi huffed out a short laugh, before his face grew soft again. “Plus, it was good to see you sleeping finally,” he murmured, bringing his hand up to caress the side of Tsukishima’s face. “You needed the rest.”

Tsukishima was dumbfounded. He never slept that long or that deeply. His body must have just finally shut down from exhaustion. “What time is it?”

“Almost one,” Yamaguchi replied, leaning down to press a kiss to Tsukishima’s neck. “I’m glad you’re up though. I was starting to get bored.”

“We can’t have that, can we?” Tsukishima snorted.

“Nope.” More kisses were peppered against his throat and neck before Yamaguchi suddenly straddled his hips and reclaimed his lips, giggling into the kiss.

Heat settled in Tsukishima’s stomach quickly, and he pulled Yamaguchi’s bottom lip between his teeth, running his tongue along it. He could feel Yamaguchi’s hardness rubbing against his through their sweatpants and he groaned, bucking his hips up. It didn’t take much to work him up this early.

Yamaguchi moaned into his mouth and ground down on Tsukishima’s hips. Tsukishima swallowed the sound and ran his fingers along the edge of Yamaguchi’s shirt, pushing it up and running his hands over his Soulmate’s stomach with a feather-light touch before grabbing Yamaguchi’s hips and pulling him down to create more of that delicious friction on his clothed cock.

Yamaguchi leaned down and Tsukishima eagerly met him halfway to connect their lips again. The familiar heat of his Soulmate’s skin under his fingers and the electricity of his lips against his own were almost too much for Tsukishima so soon after waking up, and he knew he wouldn’t last long.

When Yamaguchi broke their kiss to catch his breath, Tsukishima’s lips moved down the column of Yamaguchi’s throat, pressing wet kisses and soft bites to the skin, causing Yamaguchi to whine softly in the back of his throat. Tsukishima pulled back to observe his work after a few minutes, noting several small red marks blossoming on Yamaguchi’s neck. He smirked in satisfaction and bucked his hips up into Yamaguchi again.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi gasped. “Mmm, I’m close.”

Tsukishima groaned. Yamaguchi grinding against him in this position was a vision. He was close as well, but he wanted to feel Yamaguchi’s skin against his. He craved the heat. He raised his hips slightly and slid his sweats down just far enough to free his erection before pulling Yamaguchi out of his own pants. He connected their lips again as he brought a hand between them to grasp them both.

Yamaguchi keened and bucked into Tsukishima’s hand. The heat and friction of Yamaguchi’s bare cock against his was perfection. His tongue slid against Yamaguchi’s, and he jerked his hand faster, desperate to get off, and wanting to make Yamaguchi feel good even more.

Yamaguchi gasped into Tsukishima’s mouth before pulling away from the kiss. “Ah! Tsukki, I’m… I’m gonna-”

Tsukishima twisted his hand over the heads of their erections, and Yamaguchi groaned as he fell over the edge, hands gripping Tsukishima’s shoulders like a vice. 

Watching his Soulmate shudder through his orgasm was too much for Tsukishima, and he followed soon after, spilling his release across his shirt-covered stomach.

Yamaguchi collapsed against Tsukishima’s chest, and they lay there for several minutes, breathing heavily and coming down from the high together.

“I love you so much,” Yamaguchi breathed against Tsukishima’s neck once their breathing had returned to normal.

Tsukishima’s arms tightened around Yamaguchi. “I love you, too, Tadashi.”

Tsukishima lost track of how long they lay there cuddling in silence, but eventually he noticed the light through the window turn softer. He turned to glance at the alarm clock next to the bed but wasn’t quite able to make out the time without his glasses. “What time is it?” he asked, not wanting to get up.

Yamaguchi hummed and turned to look at the clock as well. “About 4:30. We probably should get up and shower soon. Tooru said he’d be back around six.” Despite his words, the younger man didn’t make any move to get up. He did, however, reach over to the nightstand to grab Tsukishima’s glasses for him and gently placed them on his face so he could see clearly.

“Thanks,” he said. The mention of Oikawa reminded Tsukishima that he still needed to talk to Yamaguchi. Was now the time? They had about another hour and a half of alone time which was plenty of time. He bit his lip anxiously.

“Are you okay, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked, noticing his Soulmate’s uncertainty.

“I… Yeah, I’m okay,” he mumbled. “I just… Can I talk to you about something?” His heart was beating erratically.

“Of course,” Yamaguchi assured immediately, eyes shining with support and curiosity.

Tsukishima worried his bottom lip between his teeth nervously before he spoke again. “It’s about Oikawa,” he finally said.

Yamaguchi blinked in surprise. “Okay?” he said, an obvious question in his voice.

Tsukishima’s breathing accelerated. He had to say the words out loud. He had to. But his throat tightened, and he couldn’t get the words out. He wanted to take it back. He wished he had waited. It wasn’t the right time at all. He wasn’t ready.

“Kei,” Yamaguchi said seriously, the use of Tsukishima’s given name taking him by surprise and interrupting his thoughts. “Please talk to me.”

Tsukishima closed his eyes. He just needed to rip the band-aid off and get it over with. He needed to say the words, he needed to, he needed-

“I think I have feelings for Oikawa,” he blurted.

The words hung between them heavily, but his confession was only met with silence.

After another moment, Tsukishima dared to open his eyes, meeting Yamaguchi’s. His Soulmate’s eyes were wide in shock and his mouth was gaping open as he stared at Tsukishima.

This had been a mistake. He didn’t know how to fix it. He couldn’t take the words back. “I’m so sor-” he started to apologize when Yamaguchi interrupted him.

“Really?” he asked, his voice a bit louder than he probably intended, his eyes still wide.

Tsukishima winced and nodded slowly.

Another moment of silence passed, and Tsukishima was just preparing to try his apology again when Yamaguchi sat up quickly. Tsukishima did the same and looked at Yamaguchi carefully. The younger man was staring at him intently as if he were searching his face for something. Tsukishima wasn’t sure what he found, but eventually a soft smile turned his lips up. “Tsukki,” he said. “That’s okay. Wonderful even!” he enthused.

Now it was Tsukishima’s turn to be confused. “It... You’re okay with it?” he asked.

Yamaguchi nodded quickly, then leaned forward to rest his forehead against Tsukishima’s. “I know better than anyone how possible it is to love two people,” he murmured. Tsukishima wanted to correct Yamaguchi. He didn’t _love_ Oikawa. _Not yet anyway,_ his traitorous mind supplied. He ignored it and let his Soulmate continue uninterrupted. “And I also know better than anyone what it’s like to have feelings for Tooru. I’d be a huge hypocrite if I had an issue with it.” Yamaguchi pulled back from Tsukishima a bit and grinned. “You two are the most important people in my life. Tooru being dear to you makes me really happy.”

Tsukishima breathed a sigh of relief, and he felt the anxiety in his stomach dissipate. “Thank you for understanding,” he whispered huskily, his voice thick with emotion.

“Of course. We can make this work,” Yamaguchi promised.

Tsukishima’s brow furrowed. “Make this work?” he repeated. 

“The three of us together,” Yamaguchi said with a smile.

Sudden panic seized Tsukishima. Yamaguchi might be taking this _too_ well. “I’m not… I didn’t tell you this so that I could date Oikawa,” he clarified. “I just wanted to be honest with you. I… I don’t think I want to be with Oikawa.” That wasn’t quite true, so Tsukishima tried again. “I mean, I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

“Why not?” Yamaguchi asked. Was Tsukishima imagining the disappointment in his Soulmate’s eyes?

Tsukishima sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It would complicate things too much.” Yamaguchi opened his mouth to protest, but Tsukishima continued. “What if Oikawa rejected me? Or even if by some miracle he did accept my feelings, what would happen if we had issues down the road or weren’t compatible? If we broke up?” Tsukishima reached over and took Yamaguchi’s hands in his own. “You are my Soulmate. My partner. My everything. If Oikawa and I ended on bad terms what would that do to you? I don’t think I could forgive myself if you ended up in a position where you felt you needed to choose between us. And I can’t lose you. I just can’t. You’re too important to me to risk that, Tadashi.”

The words hung in the air between them as Yamaguchi considered his response carefully. He finally took a deep breath. “You could never lose me, Kei,” he vowed. “Never. I understand your worries, I do.” He paused and bit his lip as if thinking about how to word something. “Do you remember the night I told you about Tooru?”

Tsukishima remembered that night well. It had been the night he had first told Yamaguchi he loved him. He remembered his Soulmate’s heartbreaking sobs. He nodded.

“I was so afraid that you would leave me,” he confessed. “I agonized over it and made myself sick with worry and fear. But you didn’t turn away from me. You understood, and you did everything you could to make me happy. You stayed with me and loved me, and you brought Tooru back to me. You gave me everything I needed to stop being afraid.” His grip tightened on Tsukishima’s hands. “I don’t want you to be afraid. I want you to have the same happiness you’ve given me. Even if you just wanted to try. You don’t have to worry about me. No matter what happens, you could never lose me. I promise.”

Tsukishima swallowed around the lump in his throat and allowed himself to be pulled into Yamaguchi’s embrace. He buried his face in his Soulmate’s neck and took a shaky breath. Somehow Yamaguchi always knew just what Tsukishima needed to hear.

Yamaguchi ran his hand gently up and down Tsukishima’s back. “I think you should tell Tooru,” he said after a while. He must have sensed that Tsukishima was about to interject because he continued quickly. “Even if you don’t want anything to change, you should at least talk to him. I think it’s important to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

Tsukishima wanted to protest, but he couldn’t outright deny Yamaguchi such a reasonable request. But he also didn’t want to agree. “I’ll think about it.” That much he could promise. Knowing his tendency to overthink things, he’d probably spend a lot of time thinking about it. He pulled away from the hug. “I don’t like asking you to keep secrets for me, but… please don’t tell Oikawa.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes flashed with an odd mixture of humor and exasperation before settling back into kind understanding. “I won’t. It’s not my place to tell him.”

“Thank you,” Tsukishima breathed.

Yamaguchi nodded and gestured towards Tsukishima’s shirt which was still covered in dried cum. “Probably should take that shower now though. Tooru will be home soon.”

Tsukishima glanced at the alarm clock and cursed, standing up quickly. Time always seemed to move so quickly lately.

Yamaguchi laughed and grabbed his wrist, leading him to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fireflies is a catchy song and I actually really like it unironically don't @ me


	6. We Are Too Fragile Just to Guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am tentatively putting the total chapter count to 14, but that could change as we get further along, who knows! Certainly not me!
> 
> I just realized this when I was talking to my beta reader earlier this week, but these last few chapters haven't been super plot-driven and have mostly just been Tsukki trying not to be super gay about Oikawa. I promise more plot will kick in in the next few chapters! I just had to establish Tsukki as an Oikawa Simp™ first.

By the time Oikawa arrived home, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were on the couch, freshly showered and in clean clothes. Tsukishima was reading his book and Yamaguchi was laying with his head in his lap, scrolling through his Instagram feed.

They both looked up automatically when Oikawa opened the door and entered the apartment, arms full of grocery bags. 

“He lives!” Oikawa called, grinning at Tsukishima. “I was worried for a bit.”

Tsukishima did his best to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach that Oikawa’s smile caused. Finally admitting his feelings to Yamaguchi out loud made them feel closer to the surface. He rolled his eyes, faking nonchalance. “Jet lag is a common thing, Oikawa.”

“Maybe so, but it was still unsettling,” Oikawa laughed, as he nudged the door closed with his hip.

“Welcome home, Tooru,” Yamaguchi said as he jumped up from the couch and attempted to hug his boyfriend around the grocery bags Oikawa still carried.  
“Wait, wait, Tada-chan,” Oikawa giggled, bending down to deposit the groceries safely on the floor before accepting Yamaguchi’s hug and pressing his lips against his temple. “I’ve missed having you welcome me home,” he murmured.

Tsukishima couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his face watching them. God, he really was becoming way too mushy and in touch with his feelings, and it was unpleasant. Except it wasn’t. It wasn’t at all.

He knew the moment Oikawa saw Yamaguchi’s hickeys because his eyes widened slightly before he smirked, pulling the collar of Yamaguchi’s shirt down slightly with one finger. “Oho, I guess there’s no need to ask what you guys did with yourselves today.” He glanced up at Tsukishima and waggled his eyebrows jokingly.

Tsukishima snorted and rolled his eyes before lowering his gaze back to his book. “Your bed is surprisingly comfortable, Oikawa-san,” he said pleasantly, adding the honorific just to get under Oikawa’s skin. Affectionate feelings aside, the older man was fun to tease.

Oikawa gasped dramatically. “In my own bed? The betrayal! I’ll get my revenge eventually,” he promised.

“Mmm,” Tsukishima responded absently, turning the page. He glanced back up after a minute to see Oikawa pressing his fingertips lightly against the marks on Yamaguchi’s neck, curiosity in his eyes before he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the largest of the bruises. Warm affection spread through Tsukishima again. _Get it together, Kei,_ he scolded himself.

Oikawa pulled back and grinned widely. “I got stuff to actually make dinner tonight.” He gestured to the groceries at his feet. “Are you still okay to help me edit my report tonight, Tsukishima?” he asked, turning towards the blond again.

Tsukishima nodded, ignoring the fluttering in his stomach – again. One of these days he was just going to spontaneously combust.

“Awesome! I’m gonna get started on dinner.” He bent down to gather up the groceries and made his way into the kitchen, Yamaguchi following after him like a loyal puppy.

“Do you need any help, Tooru?” Yamaguchi asked.

Oikawa chuckled. “Tada-chan, I love you. I adore you. You are the light of my life. But I am not letting you cook in my kitchen. I would like to get my deposit back when I move out.”

Yamaguchi huffed. They were fully in the kitchen now and out of Tsukishima’s line of sight, but he could still hear them bickering.

“I’m not that bad at cooking,” Yamaguchi protested. “But Tsukki could probably help. He does all the cooking at our place. He doesn’t trust me in the kitchen either,” he grumbled.

“Mmm,” Oikawa hummed. “Smart man.” They were quiet for another minute. The only sound coming from the kitchen was paper bags crinkling as they put the groceries away. Oikawa finally spoke again. “If he wants to, sure.”

Yamaguchi came skipping around the corner of the kitchen and Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at him. He didn’t trust Yamaguchi as far as he could throw him, and the glint in the younger’s eyes made it very clear he was indeed up to something.

“Volunteering me for things?” Tsukishima drawled.

Yamaguchi shrugged and flopped on the couch next to Tsukishima. “What, you like cooking,” he said innocently. He grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned the TV on.

Tsukishima glared at him for another few seconds before he gave up with a sigh and stood up to make his way to the kitchen.

Oikawa was standing at the counter with his back to Tsukishima. It looked like he was measuring something.

Tsukishima couldn’t help staring for a moment while his traitorous thoughts ran away from him. He wanted to wrap his arms around Oikawa’s waist and rest his head on his shoulder while he cooked. He wanted to press a kiss to the back of the older man’s neck, which was just barely visible over the collar of his shirt. But more than anything, Tsukishima wanted to be allowed to do those things. He wanted it to be normal.

Oikawa turned to look at him then, and Tsukishima schooled his expression back to apathy as quickly as he could, hoping Oikawa didn’t notice. “What are we making?” he asked.

Oikawa tilted his head curiously. He definitely noticed something was off, but he didn’t seem to know what. “Blackened salmon,” he answered. “I’ve already got the rice cooking. Do you wanna chop vegetables?”

“Sure,” Tsukishima shrugged. He watched Oikawa finish measuring some spices into a bowl before he turned to get a cutting board out for Tsukishima. Tsukishima grabbed the bag of vegetables from the counter and moved to the sink to rinse them. “Since when do you cook?” he asked, breaking the silence. Oikawa had never been a bad cook, but he hadn’t done much cooking when they all had lived together. He was sure Yamaguchi and Oikawa had primarily relied on takeout before Tsukishima had come along. 

Oikawa shrugged. “I’ve been living by myself for what, six months now? I had to learn at some point I guess.”

Tsukishima hummed in acknowledgement before they lapsed back into silence. He couldn’t tell if the silence was awkward or if it was just him. Considering there wasn’t any real reason for the silence to be awkward, it was probably – definitely – just him. He finished rinsing the vegetables and set them down on the counter next to the cutting board, which was right next to where Oikawa stood. He grabbed the knife and began slicing the onions. He couldn’t help but be hyper aware of Oikawa’s presence next to him as they both worked quietly on their tasks.

The feint sound of the television from the living room drifted through the kitchen and helped Tsukishima stay grounded. It gave him something to focus on other than the man at his side. The volume wasn’t loud enough for him to be able to make out the exact dialogue, but the voices of the characters sounded pretty strained. Likely a drama of some sort. He refocused on the task in front of him, slicing the zucchini into half-moons before moving on to destemming the mushrooms. A scream from the television made him and Oikawa both look back towards the living room entry in surprise. Maybe it was a horror movie? That seemed very out of character for Yamaguchi, who stayed away from scary movies whenever he could. 

“What are you watching, Tada-chan?” Oikawa asked curiously.

“I’m not really sure,” Yamaguchi’s voice sounded from the living room. “Something with vampires. I’m not really paying close attention since it’s in English.”

Tsukishima snorted before resuming his task. English definitely wasn’t Yamaguchi’s strong suit. He understood basic phrases, but anything more detailed usually went over his head.

Oikawa laughed and Tsukishima tried not to pay any mind to how his heart skipped a beat at the sound. Oikawa had a nice laugh. “If you click the ‘CC’ button on the remote you can turn on Japanese subtitles,” he offered, turning back around to continue measuring spices. “Or there are Japanese networks in the 700 range I believe.”

Tsukishima finished with the vegetables and turned back towards Oikawa, who was heating a pan on the stove. “Anything else you need me to do?”

“Hmmm.” Oikawa glanced at the timer on the rice cooker before looking back at Tsukishima. “Maybe pat the salmon dry? There are paper towels over there.” He gestured towards the opposite counter. “I think that’s pretty much it though. The rest is easy enough for one person to handle.”

Tsukishima nodded and quickly completed the task and brought the salmon over to Oikawa. He watched as Oikawa deftly coated the fillets in the spice mix before setting them gently in the melted butter in the pan. 

Tsukishima watched Oikawa cook the fish for a moment before his awkwardness overcame him and he turned to leave. It was weird for him to just stay in the kitchen when his help wasn’t needed.

When Tsukishima entered the living room his eyes immediately fell on Yamaguchi who was watching the TV with rapt attention, eyes wide and obviously very engrossed in what he was watching. Tsukishima turned to the TV to see an admittedly attractive man in an unbuttoned shirt dancing with a girl that was scantily dressed in a tank top and panties.

“Really?” he asked, turning towards Yamaguchi, but the latter just held his finger to his lips, eyes not breaking away from the TV. Tsukishima sighed and joined Yamaguchi on the couch. The tone of the scene changed as the man and woman slow danced on screen and the girl cried, complaining about her lack of a future. Tsukishima blinked unimpressed but busied himself with comparing the Japanese subtitle translations with the English dialogue. They were actually fairly close, and Tsukishima was just starting to feel invested when the man snapped the woman’s neck and killed her before the show went to commercial.

Yamaguchi gasped loudly and Tsukishima turned to look at him. “What the actual fuck are you watching, Tadashi?” he asked.

Yamaguchi’s mouth was open in shock, but he closed it quickly and shrugged. “It’s a vampire show. The guy’s a vampire,” he said as if that explained everything. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

“Since when are you into vampire fiction?” Tsukishima asked with an eye roll.

Yamaguchi shrugged. “I’m not, but there wasn’t much else on and it caught my attention.”

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He was almost positive Yamaguchi would have preferred watching the weather channel to watching a show where people died. “You just thought the guy was hot, didn’t you?”

Yamaguchi yelped. “That… That’s not it at all!” he protested, but the blush spreading across his cheeks gave him away.

Tsukishima tried to keep a straight face, wanting to tease Yamaguchi more, but he couldn’t help the loud laughter that escaped his lips when Yamaguchi folded his arms across his chest defensively. 

“Stop making fun of me, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi’s blush deepened which only made Tsukishima laugh harder.

“Ah, but that’s his job as your Soulmate, Tada-chan,” Oikawa’s voice sounded from the kitchen entryway. 

Tsukishima’s laughter dissolved into quiet snorts and chuckles as he turned to look at the older man. Though he was speaking to Yamaguchi, Oikawa’s eyes were on Tsukishima, an amused smile on his face. “You make fun of him just as much as I do,” Tsukishima reminded him.

Oikawa smirked. “But for me it’s not so much a job as a hobby of mine.”

“How about neither of you make fun of me?” Yamaguchi huffed, pointedly staring at the blank screen of the TV.

“Where’s the fun in that, sweetheart?” Oikawa teased, causing Yamaguchi’s face to flush even brighter scarlet. Yamaguchi was extremely weak against pet names and they all knew it.

Tsukishima smirked and tucked a loose piece of Yamaguchi’s hair behind the younger man’s ear. “Where indeed, baby?” he murmured.

“I don’t think I like it when you two gang up on me,” Yamaguchi grumbled, bottom lip sticking out in a very kissable pout.

Oikawa chuckled. “I would so love to call your bluff right now, because I think we all know how much you actually love when Tsukishima and I gang up on you, Tadashi,” he hummed pleasantly, and Tsukishima immediately caught the double meaning of his words. He fought back a blush of his own and tried not to think too hard about their past sexual experiences. That was the last thing he needed right now. “But,” Oikawa continued, “dinner is ready and I don’t want it to get cold.”

Yamaguchi stuck his tongue out at his long-time boyfriend and pouted for a second longer before he stood up. He grabbed Tsukishima’s hand and dragged him along towards the kitchen table where three plates sat, piled with rice, vegetables, and perfectly blackened salmon.

They took their seats at the table and Tsukishima had to admit the food looked delicious. “Thank you for the food,” he and Yamaguchi said together before they picked up their chopsticks.

Conversation flowed easily throughout the meal as they discussed general plans for the coming weeks. After tomorrow, Oikawa would be off work for the rest of the month – how he’d managed to swing that Tsukishima had no idea – and he vowed to take them sight-seeing. Yamaguchi was excited to see the Hollywood sign and the walk of fame, which Tsukishima didn’t really care too much about, but Griffith Park was in the same area and he really wanted to see it. Oikawa mentioned an observatory in the park that he loved, so they tentatively made a plan for the following Monday to visit.

As Tsukishima ate, he had to admit that Oikawa was an exceptional cook. The fish was perfectly cooked and flakey, and the spices blended together wonderfully. Despite usually not having much of an appetite, Tsukishima finished everything on his plate.

Yamaguchi volunteered to do the dishes while Tsukishima and Oikawa worked on editing the latter’s report and Oikawa agreed easily, rushing out of the kitchen to grab his laptop while Tsukishima and Yamaguchi cleared the table.

Once the table was clear and Oikawa had returned with his laptop, Tsukishima sat down again, surprisingly excited to be able to help edit something in English. He didn’t often get a chance to flex his skill with the language. Or he was excited until he saw the behemoth that was Oikawa’s report. 

“200 pages?” he asked, horrified. There’s no way this was happening in one night.

“Oh, no, no!” Oikawa laughed, waving his hand dismissively. “There’s only one section that actually needs to be edited. The rest I’ve either already edited or my team wrote, and I trust their grasp on English enough to not need to double check their work.”

Tsukishima breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God,” he mumbled. 

Oikawa laughed again, scrolling through the report until he found the section he was looking for. “So, it just needs to be edited from here to…” He began scrolling again. “Here.”

Tsukishima noted the page numbers and nodded. It was just under 30 pages. Still sizable, but much more manageable. 

Oikawa slid the laptop over to Tsukishima and the blond began reading. He didn’t understand a good chunk of the vocabulary. “Not in layman’s terms, I see,” he mumbled. _Sequestration? That doesn’t even sound like a real word,_ he thought. He would never understand science majors.

Oikawa shrugged. “It’s highly specialized for people in my discourse community. I don’t need you to double-check terms or vocabulary, just basic grammar and sentence structure.”

Tsukishima nodded, refocusing on the report. It was unsurprisingly more difficult to edit for basic grammar when he didn’t know a lot of the words, but he eventually got into a rhythm.

Yamaguchi yawned loudly about 20 minutes later, and Tsukishima looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. The younger man had finished the dishes and was stretching his arms above his head. “I think I’m going to go to bed now,” he said with another yawn. It felt over-the-top and Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Okay, good night, Tada-chan,” Oikawa said, grinning when Yamaguchi bounded over to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Tooru,” Yamaguchi sighed happily before he leaned over and kissed Tsukishima’s cheek as well. “Love you, Tsukki!”

Tsukishima turned his suspicious glance to his Soulmate who definitely had a knowing glint in his eyes. “I love you too,” Tsukishima mumbled, eyes narrowing even further.

Yamaguchi just grinned at him and all but skipped towards the living room. “Don’t stay up too late,” he reprimanded before disappearing.

Tsukishima sighed and turned back towards Oikawa’s laptop, trying to find his rhythm again. The only sound for the next little while was the click of the laptop keys as Tsukishima made corrections every now and then. The atmosphere felt more tense now that it was just the two of them and Yamaguchi wasn’t there to act as a buffer. _It only feels tense to you because you’re alone with a guy you have a huge crush on,_ he reminded himself.

There actually weren’t too many glaring mistakes in Oikawa’s writing and most of the corrections were quick – a comma here, a different verb tense there – and the work, while definitely taking time, wasn’t taking as long as Tsukishima had assumed it would.

Around the 20-page mark Oikawa broke the silence. “It might be helpful if you told me what I did wrong as you fix things.” Tsukishima looked over at Oikawa as he spoke, feeling a slight thrill at seeing the older man’s beautiful brown eyes focused so intently on him. “So that I know for future reference.”

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at him before glancing at the clock on the wall. It was already getting late and he knew Oikawa needed to work in the morning. “It’ll be faster if I just go through it,” he said. At Oikawa’s pout he continued. “Plus, I don’t believe you’ve made an offer for English lessons yet. Don’t think I’m giving out freebies.”

Oikawa snorted. “Ah, I guess that’s true. I’m still thinking on it,” he promised.

Tsukishima shook his head fondly and turned back towards the laptop. Soon enough he finished the final page and slid the laptop back in front of Oikawa. “Punctuation seems to be the most common mistake,” he said, giving a small piece of advice in spite of himself. “Putting commas where they shouldn’t be. _Not_ putting commas where they _should_ be. That kind of thing.”

Oikawa blinked in surprise, not expecting the feedback, before he grinned. “Right. Thanks for your help, Tsukishima,” he said earnestly. “I would have been working on that report all weekend if it weren’t for you.”

Tsukishima shrugged. “Anytime.” He was surprised to find that he truly meant it.

Silence fell around them again and Tsukishima was just starting to feel awkward again when Oikawa spoke. “Say, Tsukishima?”

“Hmmm?”

Oikawa’s perceptive eyes seemed to be searching Tsukishima’s face for something and the blond tried to not let it freak him out. This is why he needed Yamaguchi as a buffer. Oikawa always noticed too much.

“Ah… Nothing, never mind,” Oikawa finally said, the intensity in his eyes fading out as quickly as it had shown up. “Probably should get to bed now though,” he said with a yawn.

Tsukishima sighed in relief and nodded his agreement before stretching his arms above his head. He had been sitting in the same position for quite a while and his muscles were stiff.

Yamaguchi was fast asleep when they entered the bedroom, so they left the light off and quietly changed into their sleep clothes in the dark before they lay down on either side of him.

“Good night, Tsukishima,” Oikawa breathed, voice soft with sleep already.

If Tsukishima’s face flushed slightly, no one would know. “Good night, Oikawa,” he responded, closing his eyes. For the second night in a row, he slept soundly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, Yamaguchi was watching The Vampire Diaries because he thought that Damon Salvatore was hot. No, I will not be taking constructive criticism on this.


	7. Fine as We Are but We Want More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally the last third or more of this chapter is straight up smut. I'm sorry, but also, you're welcome!
> 
> I may not be able to update on Friday this week, but I'll try my hardest to! It's a real busy week at work for me, and I'm doing a lot of stuff preparing to move next month, so I'm all over the place. If I don't end up updating Friday, I'll for sure be updating next Monday!

Tsukishima awoke the next morning to the brief sound of Oikawa’s alarm clock before it was quickly shut off. Yamaguchi groaned and shifted in his sleep next to Tsukishima, but he sighed and settled back into his normal deep sleep quickly. Tsukishima sat up slowly so he wouldn’t wake Yamaguchi and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. 

Oikawa was sitting at the edge of the bed, scrolling through his phone. As if he could feel Tsukishima’s gaze on him, the older man looked over his shoulder and met Tsukishima’s eyes. It was still dark, and Tsukishima’s vision was blurry without his glasses, but he could still make out the teasing grin that slowly spread across Oikawa’s face. “Thank God yesterday was a fluke,” he said softly, conscious of Yamaguchi still sleeping between them. “You have no idea how unsettling it was to have Tada-chan wake up early and not you. It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone.” 

Tsukishima scoffed, but kept his voice just as low. “I’m sure you didn’t get up at the crack of dawn the day after you flew out here either.”

Oikawa shrugged. “I will neither confirm nor deny.” 

“Which is just as good as admitting you didn’t.”

Oikawa chuckled. “If you say so.”

Tsukishima was just about to wish Oikawa luck at work and attempt to go back to sleep when Oikawa spoke again. 

“Do you want some coffee?”

And despite having no plans to actually get up this early Tsukishima found himself nodding before sliding out of bed slowly so as not to jostle his still-sleeping Soulmate and following Oikawa out into the hallway.

He really should be avoiding spending time with Oikawa alone, especially after the prior night when Tsukishima had been so sure Oikawa had known something was off. He knew that. But he also couldn’t help his desire to be around the older man. Why did his emotions have to be so contradictory?

They padded softly into the kitchen and Tsukishima sat at the table while Oikawa put on the pot of coffee. This felt uncomfortably domestic to Tsukishima, and he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his sweats as a distraction. He squinted at the screen, realizing he’d forgotten to grab his glasses from the bedroom. He hadn’t plugged in his phone before they went to bed either, so the battery was pretty low.

“I’m going to get ready for work while that brews,” Oikawa announced as he finished the preparations for the coffee. 

Tsukishima hummed in acknowledgement. “Will you grab my glasses on your way back out?” he asked.

Oikawa saluted him dramatically as he walked backwards out of the kitchen. “Roger!”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and returned his attention to his phone. He had apparently received a text from Akaashi while they were asleep.

**From: Akaashi**  
_Did you and Yamaguchi make it to Oikawa’s alright? Haven’t heard from you._

Guilt coiled through Tsukishima’s stomach. They had been here for over 36 hours and he hadn’t bothered to let any of his friends know they had arrived safely. The text had been sent a few hours earlier and Tsukishima glanced at the time before responding. It was just after 10 pm back home so he was pretty sure Akaashi would still be awake. He was kind of a night owl anyway.

**To: Akaashi**  
_Yeah, we made it okay. Sorry I didn’t let you know sooner. It was a rough flight and it just spaced my mind._

After responding to Akaashi he fired off a quick text to Kuroo as well, informing him of their safe arrival, though he definitely wasn’t expecting a response from his old classmate turned good friend until the next morning. Kuroo usually went to bed early.

His phone vibrated and he switched back to his conversation with Akaashi.

**From: Akaashi**  
_No worries, glad you made it safe._

**From: Akaashi**  
_Koutarou told me to ask you to send pictures to us when you go out sight-seeing. He’s being annoyingly enthusiastic about it._

Tsukishima smiled fondly at his phone screen. Akaashi’s Soulmate, Bokuto Koutarou, was someone Tsukishima never would have imagined becoming friends with, but the loud, enthusiastic man had grown on him in the couple years that had passed since he and Akaashi had met. And while he definitely couldn’t spend super prolonged periods of time around the couple, they were his best friends in the world.

**To: Akaashi**  
_Sure thing._

His phone chose that very moment to die and he sighed, dropping it to the table with a clatter. So much for his distraction. The smell of the freshly brewed coffee filled the kitchen and Tsukishima couldn’t help closing his eyes and inhaling the warm scent. He loved the smell of coffee. The taste? Not so much. But it was often a necessity for waking up and being a semi-functional human being.

“Wow, you’re really blind, Tsukishima!” Oikawa’s voice startled Tsukishima, and he opened his eyes to look at the older man who had returned to the kitchen wearing Tsukishima’s glasses on his face. He was looking around the kitchen in amazement.

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. “I’m not blind,” he grumbled, not sure what else to say and feeling suddenly defensive. “I’m nearsighted. There’s a difference.”

Oikawa just shrugged and removed Tsukishima’s glasses, handing them to the taller man. “If you say so,” he said pleasantly, heading back towards the coffee maker.

“You wear glasses too,” Tsukishima reminded him. “Sometimes anyway,” he amended, noting that Oikawa wasn’t wearing them today nor the day before.

“I only wear them when my contacts are bothering my eyes,” Oikawa explained, pulling two coffee mugs from a cupboard. He poured coffee into the mugs and passed one to Tsukishima before reaching into the cupboard again and pulling out a container of creamer. “I have no idea what flavors you and Tada-chan like, so I just got Original. I hope that’s okay.” He put the container on the table in front of Tsukishima.

Tsukishima nodded, already breaking the seal of the new container. “Yeah, that’s fine,” he assured. “For future reference though, Tadashi’s favorite is French Vanilla.”

Oikawa sat across from Tsukishima and took of sip of his black coffee. How he could stand to drink it that way Tsukishima would never understand.

“And what’s your favorite?” Oikawa asked, curiously.

Tsukishima finished stirring in a frankly alarming amount of creamer into his coffee and took a sip. “Hmmm. Amaretto when I can find it. The stores near home don’t often stock it so we usually just get French Vanilla.”

Oikawa hummed in acknowledgement and they slipped into an easy silence, both enjoying their coffee. It reminded Tsukishima of the mornings back in Japan on the days they both woke up before Yamaguchi. In all honestly, it was probably those mornings where it was just the two of them that actually saw them become friends, rather than just two guys who were dating the same person. Thinking about it made Tsukishima oddly nostalgic.

Tsukishima stole glances at Oikawa when he was sure the older man wasn’t paying attention, too absorbed in whatever he was reading on his phone to notice. He thought about his discussion with Yamaguchi the day prior. He had said that he wasn’t interested in dating Oikawa but that wasn’t true. In quiet easy moments like this – and even in the not quiet moments where they bickered and teased each other relentlessly – it was almost too easy for Tsukishima to imagine being in a relationship with Oikawa. And he liked that thought a bit too much. 

Maybe he should just talk to Oikawa about it like Yamaguchi had suggested. Worst case scenario Oikawa would shoot him down and be awkward around Tsukishima. Tsukishima’s brow furrowed. No, worst case scenario was they’d stop being friends. Tsukishima stole another glance at Oikawa. Now that he and Oikawa were on such good terms, the thought of losing that hurt. A fucking lot. He didn’t know if he could risk that.

“So,” Oikawa’s voice interrupted Tsukishima’s spiraling thoughts. “What are you and Tada-chan going to get up to while I’m at work?”

Tsukishima blinked once. “Are you asking if Tadashi and I are going to have sex in your bed again?”

A sputtering sound escaped Oikawa’s lips as he choked on his coffee and a delightfully pink blush slowly spread over his cheeks, and Tsukishima couldn’t resist the shit-eating grin that spread across his face. Crush or not, teasing Oikawa was an incredibly fun hobby.

“No!” Oikawa insisted, voice shrill and effectively chasing away the quiet atmosphere of the morning. “I just meant like…” He paused and frowned, the blush still present on his face. “I know there’s not much to do around here, and I’m not being the best host.”

Tsukishima waved his hand dismissively. “It’s fine, Oikawa,” he assured. “We’re perfectly capable of entertaining ourselves. Maybe we’ll go for a walk around the neighborhood or something. Get some fresh air.” The fact that Oikawa was worried they weren’t enjoying their stay was kind of cute. Absurd, but cute.

Oikawa seemed to perk up a bit. “Oh, that reminds me!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, sliding it across the table towards Tsukishima. “Here’s a key to the apartment. That way you can lock up if you do end up stepping out.” He glanced at his watch and winced. “I’ve got to go or I’m gonna be late.” Tsukishima squashed down the disappointment he felt as quickly as it reared its head before it had a chance to show on his face.

He just nodded, pocketing the key and walking with Oikawa out into the living room. Now this morning really felt too domestic, like he was seeing his lover off with a sappy ‘have a good day at work, sweetie!’ He ground his teeth together.

Oikawa grabbed his laptop bag from where it rested next to the front door and waved at Tsukishima. “Tell Tada-chan I said good morning,” he requested as he opened the door.

“You got it,” Tsukishima mumbled. He paused then, as Oikawa opened the door and stepped out. “Have a good day at work, Oikawa,” he called, only feeling slightly pathetic.

Oikawa turned and flashed a grin and a peace sign in Tsukishima’s direction before the door closed and he was gone.

A groan slipped out of Tsukishima’s throat and he collapsed on the couch. It had only been two days and already he felt like he was losing his mind. It was going to be a long month.

*****

Tsukishima had finished reading his book and was scrolling aimlessly through TV channels when Yamaguchi finally woke up a couple hours later. The brunet yawned as he padded over to the couch and flopped down next to his Soulmate.

“Morning, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi sighed happily, curling up into Tsukishima’s side.

The blond tossed the remote aside, leaving the channel on a random game show, and wrapped his arms around Yamaguchi. “Morning,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of the younger man’s head. “Oikawa says good morning, too,” he added.

“Mmmm,” Yamaguchi acknowledged. They were quiet for a while, looking at the TV, but neither really watching the show. “Speaking of Tooru…” Yamaguchi began, and Tsukishima groaned. He was trying to get his mind off the older man, but it looked like that wasn’t going to be possible.

Yamaguchi smacked his shoulder playfully. “Stop that.”

Tsukishima sighed. “What about him?” he hedged.

An exasperated sigh left Yamaguchi’s lips. “Have you thought about what we talked about yesterday?”

It was Tsukishima’s turn to sigh as he reached for the remote and turned the volume on the TV down. “Yes,” he answered truthfully.

“And?” Yamaguchi prompted.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “And it’s been one day. I’m not going to figure out the answer to all my problems in a day,” he mumbled.

“Well, we’ve got a couple weeks,” Yamaguchi reminded him.

Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrowed. “And you really think I should tell him?”

Yamaguchi nodded quickly. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

The younger man likely meant it as a rhetorical question, and Tsukishima probably wouldn’t have answered if he hadn’t been thinking about that very thing earlier that morning. “He could hate me,” he muttered.

Yamaguchi pulled away from his embrace and regarded Tsukishima carefully, his eyebrows pulling together. “Do you really think that little of him?” he asked after a moment.

Tsukishima’s eyes widened in surprise at the question. He opened his mouth to respond, but Yamaguchi cut him off.

“Tooru’s not that kind of person. He can sometimes be rash and he’s not always the most tactful, but he cares about people very deeply. You’re his friend. He’d never hate you for something like this, even if he didn’t feel the same.” Yamaguchi’s voice grew stronger as he spoke, defending his boyfriend. “If you care about him at all, that’s something you need to know.”

Tsukishima winced at the admonishment. He knew Yamaguchi was right. He may not have known Oikawa for nearly as long as Yamaguchi had, but he did have a good sense of his character. Oikawa was a good person, and he knew it wasn’t rational to fear losing their friendship over something like a crush.

“You’re right,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

Yamaguchi’s face softened and he smiled ever so slightly. “I know you’re anxious,” he said, grabbing Tsukishima’s hand and pulling it into his lap. “But please trust me when I say that talking to him is the best course.”

Tsukishima threaded their fingers together. “I do trust you, Tadashi. I just need more time.”

A warm hand pressed against his cheek and Tsukishima’s eyes fluttered closed at the electrifying warmth of Yamaguchi’s skin on his. It was a feeling that never failed to calm him down.

When he opened his eyes again, Yamaguchi was smiling at him sweetly, and he knew that the conversation was over for now. He leaned forward and captured his Soulmate’s lips in a soft kiss before they curled back up on the couch and returned their attention back to the game show playing softly in the background.

*****

Oikawa arrived home well after dark. He had texted Yamaguchi that he’d be back late and that they didn’t need to wait up for him, but they were both still awake when he got home. Tsukishima looked up from the book he was reading – he had started reading Oikawa’s copy of Les Miserables – at Oikawa’s entrance and noticed how tired the other man looked.

Yamaguchi also noticed right away. “Long day?” he asked.

Oikawa sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Incredibly long. I didn’t realize how much stuff I still had left to do before I could take time off. But it’s all done now.” He smiled despite his exhaustion.

“There’s takeout in the kitchen if you’re hungry,” Yamaguchi offered. “Tsukki and I just went around the corner to that little burger place for dinner.”

A smile spread across Oikawa’s face before it was broken by a yawn. “I ate already, but thank you, Tada-chan. I think I’m just going to go to bed before I pass out right here.” He yawned again.

“Probably a good idea. You look dead on your feet,” Tsukishima piped in.

Oikawa chuckled and flashed a tired smile in Tsukishima’s direction. He blinked a couple times and raised an eyebrow. “Is that my book?” he asked.

Tsukishima suddenly felt guilty. He probably should have asked beforehand. “Yeah, sorry,” he mumbled. He was apologizing a lot today it seemed.

“Oh, no, no, it’s fine!” Oikawa assured quickly. “God knows somebody should get some enjoyment from that book. One of my colleagues gave it to me and told me that if I could get through it then I’d never have to worry about my English skills ever again. I think I made it three pages in before giving up.”

Tsukishima snorted. “Yeah, don’t feel too bad about that. The author is really long-winded.”

Oikawa smiled again before turning back to Yamaguchi. “Come cuddle me to sleep, Tada-chan?” he asked with an adorable pout on his lips.

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation but followed his boyfriend down the hall anyway. “You coming, Tsukki?” he called over his shoulder.

Tsukishima shook his head. “In a bit,” he responded. He didn’t know if he could deal with an adorable, sleepy Oikawa in such close proximity to him at that very moment. He’d give them time to fall asleep.

He returned his attention back to the book and tried to re-lose himself in the world of early-1800s France again. If his thoughts wandered to Oikawa often enough that he had to re-read several passages, no one else needed to know.

*****

He wasn’t sure at first what had woken him up. He could tell without opening his eyes that it was later than he normally slept, but he hadn’t gone to bed till after midnight, so it made sense for him to sleep in. He was still tired and felt like he could sleep more, and he was just about to fall back asleep when he realized the bed was shaking ever so slightly, which was probably what had woken him in the first place.

He slowly cracked his eyes open and squinted blearily at the ceiling before turning his head to look for the source of the shaking. When he found it, his eyes widened and he gasped, suddenly feeling wide awake and way, way too warm.

On the other side of the bed Yamaguchi was lying on his back with his legs splayed over Oikawa’s thighs, hands covering his mouth as if trying to not make any noise while Oikawa rocked slowly into him. Oh. _Oh._

They must have heard his gasp because they both turned to look at him at the same time. Oikawa’s eyes looked smug and he chuckled, turning his attention back to Yamaguchi, pulling the younger man’s hands away from his mouth. “Looks like you don’t need to be quiet anymore, baby,” he said, voice husky and oh so attractive.

Yamaguchi moaned softly and Tsukishima’s brain short-circuited. There were definitely worse things to wake up to.

He sat up slowly and reached for Yamaguchi on instinct. This wasn’t new territory by any means. The three of them had had sex together before. Multiple times. His emotional attraction to Oikawa was new, but the physical attraction had always been there. Tsukishima wasn’t blind after all. Not that he’d ever actually had sex with Oikawa himself. More like they’d both just had sex with Yamaguchi at the same time. It was a strange arrangement, but one that Tsukishima didn’t have any problems diving back into.

Oikawa grabbed Tsukishima’s hand before he could reach Yamaguchi, making Tsukishima look at the older man in confusion.

Oikawa grinned at him, a teasing glint in his eye. “Oh no,” he said. “You can’t touch him right now.”

Tsukishima glared at Oikawa, though there was no real anger behind it, just confusion and slight annoyance at not being able to touch his Soulmate. “And why not?” he huffed.

Oikawa’s grin sharpened. “Because I said so. You can look, but you can’t touch. Not until I make him come,” he ordered. “Consider this my payback for the other day.”

Tsukishima knew his mouth was hanging open in shock, but he couldn’t seem to figure out how to close it. Yamaguchi moaned and looked at Tsukishima. “S-sorry Ts-Tsukki!” he gasped out as Oikawa’s pace increased.

Tsukishima couldn’t help the small groan that left his throat. _Fuck._ He had accidentally discovered that he was into exhibitionism thanks to Oikawa – he remembered the first time they’d had a threesome when Oikawa had walked in on Tsukishima and Yamaguchi earlier that year – but it looked like it went the other way too. He hadn’t expected to be into voyeurism, but he most definitely was if the tent in his sweatpants was any indication. 

He knew Oikawa would stop immediately if he used their safeword. It wasn’t a sex-specific safeword, and they’d actually never used it before, but they had come up with it when they first opened the relationship so that any of them could use it if they were uncomfortable with anything while they were still figuring out all the dynamics. Despite never using it, Tsukishima knew Oikawa would respond to it immediately. But he didn’t want to use it. He didn’t need to use it.

Watching his Soulmate be fucked by the man he was falling for more and more each day was incredibly hot. He finally managed to clench his jaw shut, but he couldn’t look away from the scene in front of him – not that he wanted to.

Yamaguchi was gorgeous like this, his face contorted in pleasure. His eyes were screwed shut and he was moaning unabashedly now. His pretty cock was resting on his stomach, marbled drops of precum leaking just below the slice of his navel. He was absolutely perfect, and Tsukishima clenched his fists, the desire to reach out and touch his Soulmate nearly overwhelming him.

He ground his teeth together and found his attention turning towards Oikawa next, almost against his will. Almost. He was attractive of course; that went without saying. That devilish smirk still played across his lips as he thrust into Yamaguchi, his hands steadying the younger man, one resting on his hip, the other on one of his thighs. He was supporting his weight on his knees and Tsukishima couldn’t help but admire his build as he continued to fuck his Soulmate.

He was painfully hard at this point and desperately needed some friction against his dick, but he didn’t want to give Oikawa the satisfaction of knowing just how affected he was. Not that there was really any doubt, a wet spot already forming on his pants from where his erection pressed against the fabric. 

Yamaguchi’s moans became more pronounced and Tsukishima could tell he was getting close.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” Oikawa encouraged, his hand tightening on Yamaguchi’s hip. “You look so good like this. You take my cock so well, love.” The pet names were honestly probably overkill at this point. Yamaguchi already looked as blissed out as he could be. He whined loudly and clenched his fists into the sheets beneath him as he finally fell over the edge, his release spilling across his stomach, his cock completely untouched.

Tsukishima couldn’t help the moan that escaped him from seeing his Soulmate fall apart so spectacularly. He rocked his hips forward slightly, pressing the tip of his erection into the front of his sweatpants. The friction was dim since he’d already mostly soaked through the fabric.

Oikawa continued to fuck Yamaguchi through his orgasm, only stopping when Yamaguchi’s hands started to shake where they were still firmly clenched in the sheets – a clear sign that he was getting overstimulated. The older man paused his thrusts and gently pulled out of Yamaguchi. Tsukishima could see that Oikawa was still hard though. _I know the feeling,_ he thought sarcastically.

Tsukishima cleared his throat, gaining Oikawa’s attention again. “Am I allowed to touch him now, Oikawa-san?” He tried to sound impassive, but he was still incredibly horny, and the words came out breathier than he would have liked.

“Hmmm,” Oikawa hummed as he removed the condom he was wearing, tying it off and tossing it into the wastebasket by the bed. He turned his head to look down at Yamaguchi. He smiled softly before helping Yamaguchi sit up. “Tada-chan, why don’t you go show your Soulmate some love,” he encouraged. “He’s been so patient after all.” His eyes cut to Tsukishima again as he smirked.

Yamaguchi nodded quickly and scooted his body closer to Tsukishima, easily pulling the taller man in for a passionate kiss. 

Tsukishima groaned into Yamaguchi’s mouth, that overwhelming heat leaving him helpless and only adding to his arousal. 

Yamaguchi shifted even closer, slotting one of his legs between Tsukishima’s and the friction was delicious. Tsukishima couldn’t help bucking his hips forward, grinding against Yamaguchi’s thigh.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi murmured, breaking the kiss. “Can I suck you off?”

“Fuck,” Tsukishima gasped. “Please.”

Yamaguchi smiled at him oh so sweetly before he shifted, grabbing the waistband of Tsukishima’s sweats. Tsukishima lifted his hips slightly so Yamaguchi could pull them down, finally freeing his straining erection.

Oikawa snickered from the other side of the bed. “Looks like you really enjoyed the show, huh Tsukishima-san?” he teased Tsukishima with the same honorific the latter had used on him just a couple moments before. 

“Shut up,” Tsukishima spat out. He could feel his face heat up which only caused Oikawa to chuckle again.

Tsukishima turned his attention back to Yamaguchi, who was lying on his stomach between Tsukishima’s legs, smiling up at him with so much love and affection in his eyes before turning his attention to the cock in front of him. Tsukishima’s breath hitched when Yamaguchi finally took it into his hand and licked a stripe up the shaft. When he reached the head, he pressed his lips to the tip briefly before he opened his mouth and took Tsukishima in.

Yamaguchi was exceptional at giving head and Tsukishima couldn’t stop the moans that spilled from him as his Soulmate’s mouth worked over him. The wet heat that enveloped him was damn near perfect, and he threw his head back, eyes screwing shut in pleasure.

“ _Fuck,_ Tadashi,” he gasped when the younger man took him to the base without warning.

Yamaguchi hummed around the cock in his throat and Tsukishima hips bucked slightly at the stimulation that caused, causing Yamaguchi to gag and pull back until only the head was still in his mouth.

“Sorry,” Tsukishima said breathlessly eyes opening, but Yamaguchi only shook his head and hummed before going back down.

Tsukishima took a shaky breath and forced his hips to stay still this time. He turned his head to the side his eyes immediately landing on Oikawa. The self-satisfied smirk was no longer on the older man’s face as he bit his knuckle to muffle any noise, his other hand fisting over his cock quickly.

It was Tsukishima’s turn to smirk as he watched Oikawa watching them, obviously just as affected as Tsukishima had been earlier. “Enjoying the show?”

Oikawa met his eyes and gasped, nodding quickly with no ounce of shame as his hand moved even faster, his thumb pressing against the slit of his cock.

He was so fucking attractive, and Tsukishima found he couldn’t take his eyes off him, even as Yamaguchi’s mouth brought him closer and closer to orgasm. He could feel the tell-tale tightening in his stomach, and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. 

Oikawa came first, under Tsukishima’s heavy gaze, and the older man gasped and cursed as he worked himself through it. 

The sight made Tsukishima want to surge forward and capture Oikawa’s lips in a kiss, but that wasn’t allowed so he closed his eyes, focusing only on the wet heat still enveloping his cock. He was so, so close. The tightening in his stomach causing him to shake.

He felt the bed shift and suddenly a hand was on the back of his neck, fingers playing with the small curls around his ears and Tsukishima gasped as Oikawa’s voice reached him, entirely too close. “You’re doing so good for Tsukishima, Tada-chan.”

Yamaguchi hummed at the praise and Tsukishima’s senses zeroed in on the feeling of Oikawa’s fingers gently tracing across the nape of his neck. The tightening snapped then, and Tsukishima hunched forward, gasping loudly as the white-hot feeling of his orgasm washed over him, so intense he felt that he might black out.

When his body was spent and he finally stopped shaking, he fell backwards onto his back, breaths coming in quick pants. He felt warm hands on his face – familiar warm. He opened his eyes slowly to blink up at Yamaguchi.

“Are you okay, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked.

Tsukishima nodded weakly. “Yeah, just gotta wait for the room to stop spinning,” he mumbled.

Yamaguchi chuckled and leaned down to press his lips to Tsukishima’s. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t be,” Tsukishima breathed, feeling his eyes growing heavier. “That was…” he paused, trying to find a word that would adequately describe the experience. “Nice,” he finished lamely, suddenly unable to think of any other words.

Yamaguchi laughed and Tsukishima could hear Oikawa laughing as well, but he was too tired to turn his head to look for him. His eyes finally closed, and he sank back into a content sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta reader accused me of "cucking" her with this chapter because all Tsukki and Oikawa did was "stare lustily at each other" and I haven't been able to stop laughing about that since.
> 
> Thank you all for the continued interest in this story! We're halfway there!


	8. We've Got Our Aim, but We Might Miss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed updating on Friday! Work has been a nightmare lately. I hope to be back on my regular Monday/Friday uploading schedule from here on out *knock on wood*
> 
> Tentatively changed the expected chapter count to 13 because I'm thinking of combining two of the upcoming chapters into one. That may change again, who knows!
> 
> This chapter is basically a product of me researching things to do in Los Angeles, and so much of it is unnecessary to the plot, but I'm giving it to you anyway.

“No way,” Tsukishima objected quickly, folding his arms across his chest and refusing to move another step.

“Absolutely not,” Oikawa agreed, shaking his head furiously.

Yamaguchi huffed and gestured toward the building again. “Come on,” he whined. “Please?”

Tsukishima grimaced at the building in front of them in disgust. No way in hell was he going to set foot in a wax museum. “Why do you even want to?” he asked.

Yamaguchi shrugged. “I don’t really know. It just looks interesting.”

“Wax figures are not interesting. They’re fucking creepy, Tada-chan,” Oikawa insisted, eyeing the building with the same contempt that Tsukishima was.

They had been walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard aimlessly for the last couple hours, stopping every now and then to watch street performances or take pictures with especially interesting stars on the Walk of Fame. While it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world to Tsukishima, Yamaguchi was like a kid in a candy store and the blond was happy to indulge his Soulmate in anything if it meant he’d keep smiling like he was. _Well, anything but this._

Tsukishima was glad it wasn’t particularly crowded since it was the off-season and the middle of a workday, but he still didn’t want to linger on the sidewalk in front of the building and hold up foot traffic any longer than absolutely necessary.

Yamaguchi pushed his lower lip out in a pout that almost always caused Tsukishima to cave. _Not this time,_ he thought. _Be strong, Kei._

He surprisingly held up pretty well. Oikawa, however, did not. The older man sighed in defeat. “Okay, fine.”

Tsukishima turned to glare at Oikawa with all the reasonable rage he could muster. “Traitor,” he bit out.

Oikawa shrugged and a guilty smile wormed its way onto his face. “Sorry, Tsukishima,” he said.

Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up slightly and sighed in exasperation. There’s no way he could win against them both. Accepting his fate, he nodded minutely, and Yamaguchi whooped in excitement before taking off for the building’s entrance. Tsukishima and Oikawa followed behind at a much slower pace, neither looking forward to this particular activity. 

They paid the entrance fee – Tsukishima could not wrap his head around the idea of people willingly paying money to look at wax figures – and entered the building.

Oikawa whistled softly between his teeth. “Hello, uncanny valley,” he muttered as they followed Yamaguchi through the first exhibit.

Tsukishima couldn’t help the snort that escaped him at that. “Well, you’re not wrong,” he agreed. The two delved into a quiet conversation about the uncanny valley phenomenon, and Tsukishima was grateful for the distraction from the too life-like figures around them. Occasionally Yamaguchi would ask one of them to take a picture for him, but other than that, they just let the younger man enjoy the weird place.

Oikawa flipped mindlessly through a pamphlet he held during a lull in the conversation. “Oh joy! Say, Tsukishima, did you know that the figures here have real human hair?”

Tsukishima’s mouth twisted in disgust. “Thanks for sharing that awful information, Oikawa,” he drawled. “I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that.”

The place wasn’t _terrible,_ Tsukishima admitted. It wasn’t a dark foreboding building where you were surrounded by wax figures on all sides like he had assumed it would be. It was actually pretty light and open and most of the exhibits only housed a couple of figures. He still hated it, but he guessed it could be worse.

Finally, _finally_ they made it through the last exhibit and managed to convince Yamaguchi that they really didn’t need anything from the gift shop before exiting back out onto the street.

It was late afternoon already and Oikawa hummed as they walked down the sidewalk. “We probably should head to the park if we want to get there before it gets dark. I assume we want to get all the hiking out of the way while it’s still light out.”

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima both agreed, and they started walking East, following the directions on Oikawa’s phone. The park was only about a mile and a half away, and none of them were particularly keen on spending money on a cab for that short of a distance.

Of course, if Tsukishima knew how big the park was and how far they’d have to hike to get to the Hollywood sign overlook, he might have tried to convince them to get a cab anyway. By the time they reached the overlook they were all exhausted and collapsed immediately on the nearest unoccupied bench.

Tsukishima breathed a sigh of relief once his weight was off his feet. He had to admit the view was spectacular from here. He turned to look at Yamaguchi, and he found the younger man staring out over the valley, completely awestruck.

They all sat together in comfortable silence, enjoying the view and the rest. Oikawa eventually looked at his watch. “The sun should be setting in about 40 minutes. Once the sun goes down, we can head to the observatory. It’s best at night because then you can see more clearly through the telescopes.”

Yamaguchi stretched his legs out in front of him. “Can we watch the sunset from up here before heading down? Or is that too cheesy?”

Tsukishima’s lips quirked up and he shook his head fondly. “I don’t mind. The path up here was fairly smooth so it shouldn’t be too bad to go down in the dark.”

Yamaguchi grinned at him and they fell back into silence. They weren’t alone at the overlook, but it wasn’t too crowded either. There were other groups, friends and couples enjoying the view and chatting amongst themselves quietly. It was rather peaceful.

Tsukishima glanced at Oikawa out of the corner of his eye. He looked as beautiful as always as he rested his cheek on the top of Yamaguchi’s head. Tsukishima’s heart ached. He’d been thinking a lot over the weekend about his conversations with Yamaguchi, and he had made up his mind. He knew that he’d confess soon. He didn’t know when or where, but he knew it was inevitable. Yamaguchi was right after all – he usually was. Tsukishima would confess to Oikawa and then they could all go about their lives as they had been, minus the crushing weight of his feelings bearing down on Tsukishima. He didn’t dare allow himself to hope for his feelings to be returned; hope would just make the rejection worse. But he did want to clear the air with Oikawa. Maybe after getting his feelings off his chest he’d finally be able to function normally around the older man again instead of feeling like a mess every time Oikawa met his eyes. Maybe.

They sat and watched the sunset together and Tsukishima couldn’t deny how beautiful the valley looked under the glow of the setting sun. He felt warm fingers trail over his and he turned his hand up automatically, intertwining his fingers with Yamaguchi’s.

When the last rays of the setting sun had faded out over the horizon, Tsukishima shifted, standing up and pulling Yamaguchi with him. The younger man stood and then winced slightly as his weight rested on his feet.

“What’s wrong, Tada-chan?” Oikawa asked, having noticed Yamaguchi’s discomfort.

Yamaguchi shook his head quickly. “My feet are just sore from all the walking. I think I just have a couple blisters.” He took a tentative step and winced again, sucking in air sharply between his teeth.

Tsukishima frowned. His own legs and feet had been sore when they first arrived, but after resting for as long as they had they were much better. He still held Yamaguchi’s hand, so he pulled the younger man back a step and bent his knees slightly so Yamaguchi could climb on his back. “Come on, I’ll carry you down.”

“You don’t have to do that, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi protested, but he was already climbing onto Tsukishima’s back, locking his arms around the taller man’s neck.  
Tsukishima gripped Yamaguchi’s thighs and shifted his Soulmate up so he was resting more securely against his back before turning to Oikawa and nodding.

They headed down the path and Oikawa started chatting with Yamaguchi from where he was perched on Tsukishima’s back. The older man promised to give him a foot massage when they got home. Oikawa was walking right next to Tsukishima and would occasionally run his hand over Yamaguchi’s back as they walked which was probably very soothing for Yamaguchi, but it caused a lot of internal panic for Tsukishima since Oikawa’s arm would brush against his whenever he did.

They reached the bottom of the hill soon enough and Tsukishima followed Oikawa’s lead as the older man led them to the observatory. It was a fair distance away and Tsukishima’s arms were just starting to cramp up when they arrived. He gently set Yamaguchi back on his own feet and asked if he’d be okay to walk through the observatory on his own.

Yamaguchi nodded quickly and assured them that he’d be fine, but he still winced slightly as they walked into the building.

The first thing Tsukishima noticed when they entered the building was the giant pendulum swinging from the ceiling. A group of people was gathered around it, watching it sway, and Tsukishima looked up to where it was connected at the top – way higher than he had expected it to be; it must have been 30 or 40 feet. When he looked at the ceiling his eyes widened, taking in the display of murals and paintings that covered the ceiling and the upper walls of the room. It was breathtaking.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Oikawa asked. Tsukishima could only nod in answer. “It’s all the old myths about how the stars and planets came to be at the top.” He gestured to the ceiling. “And then the walls are depictions of the actual science we use to understand space a bit better. It’s really cool seeing them combined together.”

Tsukishima tore his gaze away from the paintings and looked at Oikawa. The older man was smiling widely, amazement in his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling.

“It’s so pretty!” Yamaguchi enthused, as they made their way around the crowd of people still surrounding the pendulum. 

Oikawa briefly described that the pendulum was a way for people to physically see the Earth’s rotation and that it was one of the largest in the world before leading them through to another wing of the building. Tsukishima couldn’t help but admire Oikawa’s passion. He was really in his element here and the littlest things would excite him. He explained almost every exhibit to them as they walked through each section, and Tsukishima smiled softly at having their own personal tour guide. It was rare that he got to see Oikawa so genuinely passionate about something.

They occasionally had to ask Oikawa to rephrase something when he really got going and they had no idea what he was saying, but they slowly made their way through every exhibit on the main and lower floor and Tsukishima never got tired of it. He could listen to Oikawa ramble on about space and the science behind astronomy for hours.

They finally finished the last exhibit and Oikawa led them back towards the dome theater, insisting that they see a star show before they leave, and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi couldn’t argue even if they wanted to.

They bought tickets and let Oikawa pick their seats – he insisted that they needed to have the perfect seats – and they waited for the show to start.

“Tooru?” All three of them turned towards the unexpected voice and Tsukishima noticed a man probably a couple years older than Oikawa across the aisle from them, sitting with a gaggle of kids.

Oikawa smiled widely. “Hey Andy!” he greeted in English.

The man stood and walked over to them to chat before the show started.

Oikawa switched to Japanese to introduce the man to them. “This is Andrew. He’s one of my coworkers.”

Tsukishima nodded and Yamaguchi gave the man a timid smile and wave.

“This is my boyfriend, Yamaguchi Tadashi,” Oikawa said to Andrew, switching between the languages impressively. “And this is his Soulmate, Tsukishima Kei.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened and he turned a questioning look towards Oikawa. Andrew didn’t seem phased at their relationship though, and he smiled widely, extending his hand to Yamaguchi. “Nice to meet you, Yamaguchi!” he said. “Tooru’s told us a lot about you.”

Yamaguchi looked a bit lost, but he smiled and shook his hand. “Nice to meet,” he said softly, the English words not sitting comfortably on his tongue.

Andrew could probably tell Yamaguchi was uncomfortable with the attention, so he moved on, extending his hand to Tsukishima. “And nice to meet you too, uh…” he paused, his brows furrowed. Americans never seemed to be able to get the “Tsu” sound right. Tsukishima took pity on him.

“Kei is fine,” he said, shaking his hand. “Nice to meet you, Andrew.”

The man smiled warmly at him and chatted with Oikawa for a minute longer before the lights flickered indicating the show would be starting shortly. He excused himself and went back to his family.

Oikawa met Tsukishima’s eyes, and he saw curiosity burning in them. “Kei?” he questioned. Tsukishima knew he was asking why he’d told a stranger to call him Kei and wasn’t actually calling Tsukishima by his given name himself, but he still couldn’t help the small thrill that went through him from hearing Oikawa say his name.

He shrugged. “Tsu is a hard sound for Americans to pronounce usually. And I really didn’t feel like being called ‘Sookishima.’”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Oikawa said with a nod. He smiled quickly at Tsukishima but turned his attention quickly to the domed ceiling above them when the lights went out.

Oikawa’s face lit up along with the stars that spread out over the ceiling, and Tsukishima marveled again at the wonder and amazement that always seemed to cross Oikawa’s face when he was thinking about space. It was so endearing. 

Tsukishima smiled and sat back in his seat, turning his attention to the projection above as the lecturer came on over the speakers to start the show.

*****

They were all exhausted when they finally arrived back at Oikawa’s apartment, but they stayed up a while longer chatting in the living room anyway.

Tsukishima sat on one end of the couch and Oikawa at the other, with Yamaguchi resting his head in Tsukishima’s lap and his feet in Oikawa’s. The older man was making good on his promise and massaging Yamaguchi’s sore feet through his socks while Tsukishima ran his fingers through his Soulmate’s hair, massaging his scalp.

This felt so domestic, but in the best possible way, and Tsukishima didn’t want it to end. He stole glances at Oikawa every now and then, and the butterflies in his stomach went haywire. His resolve to confess to Oikawa was stronger than ever, and he knew it would be soon. He couldn’t keep suffocating his feelings for much longer without exploding.

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” Oikawa asked, rubbing his thumb up the arch of Yamaguchi’s left foot.

Yamaguchi sighed contentedly. “Honestly, I don’t think I’m going anywhere. My feet are killing me and will probably feel worse tomorrow,” he lamented.

“We can stay in,” Tsukishima assured, carding his fingers through Yamaguchi’s bangs.

“Mmm,” Yamaguchi hummed, as he closed his eyes. “Why don’t you two go to the Natural History Museum tomorrow?” he suggested. “I’m probably going to sleep all day, and you know I’m not super into history anyway.” He threw an apologetic look at Tsukishima, but the latter didn’t take any offense.

He did, however, feel himself begin to panic at the thought of being alone with Oikawa all day. As strong as his resolve to confess was, it would feel almost too much like a date if it was just the two of them, and he didn’t know if he could handle that. He was about to protest and assure Yamaguchi that they didn’t mind staying in when Oikawa spoke up.

“That’s a great idea, Tada-chan!” he enthused, smiling widely. “Is that okay, Tsukishima?” he asked, turning his attention to the blond.

Tsukishima swallowed quickly, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry. He wanted to protest, but he could see the excitement shining clearly in Oikawa’s eyes and he couldn’t bring himself to say no to him.

“Yeah, sure,” agreed softly, unable to break away from Oikawa’s gaze. The older man’s smile widened, and Tsukishima knew he was lost.

He tried not to panic as he thought about what awaited him the next day. He had an almost-date with Oikawa, and – if he didn’t lose his nerve – he was probably going to confess to him. Yeah, no reason to panic at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wax figures are horrible and terrible and I wish they didn't exist, yes this is propaganda to make more people realize how creepy they are.
> 
> Also! Visiting the Griffith Observatory has been on my bucket list for so long, but I've never been there in person. One day! In the interest of spreading science and knowledge, the observatory website is fairly interactive and let's you see pictures and descriptions of all the exhibits if anyone is as much of a slut for space as Oikawa and myself!  
> www.griffithobservatory.org


	9. What If We Ruin It All?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another update! A week later than planned, I apologize! I'm in the middle of packing for a move while still working pretty much every single day, so finding time to write and edit has been a challenge lately. Thanks for your patience!
> 
> I updated the total chapter count again because I'm apparently the most fickle person in the world when it comes to plotting out my chapters.
> 
> With the addition of this chapter, this fic is officially the longest thing I've ever written to date. Wild.

The museum was breathtaking. It was by far the largest museum Tsukishima had ever seen, and a person could probably spend days there and still not see everything it had to offer. There were so many interesting wings and exhibits, but Tsukishima’s favorite was by far the Dinosaur Hall. 

Tsukishima had always been a fan of dinosaurs and had even wanted to be a Paleontologist when he was younger. The field still really interested him, though his studies had taken him to get a Master’s in History instead.

It wasn’t as stressful as he thought it would be, spending time with Oikawa. The older man seemed to be just as interested in the displays as Tsukishima was and even asked Tsukishima questions about certain specimens. _“Come on Mr. Curator. Curate for me.”_ Tsukishima had rolled his eyes, but he humored him. 

Not as stressful as he thought, but still stressful enough. He had no idea how to segue into a confession. He wanted to avoid a big sit-down conversation, to be more casual, but what would that even look like? _Why, yes, all dinosaurs had upright stances, which is what set them apart from other reptiles. Also, I really like you and kind of want to kiss you right now, is that okay with you?_ Yeah, no, that was definitely out.

He should have asked Yamaguchi for advice before they left, but he’d barely had enough time to inform Yamaguchi that he planned to confess while Oikawa was out of the room, much less have a conversation about how he should go about doing it. Yamaguchi had been ecstatic, glad that Tsukishima was finally taking his advice. Oikawa had of course picked that very moment to reenter the room and inform Tsukishima that their cab was there and whisked him away before they could say anything else.

“I wasn’t expecting Velociraptors to be so short!” Oikawa’s voice startled Tsukishima out of his thoughts and he turned to look at the display Oikawa was pointing to. “The ones in Jurassic Park were huge.”

Tsukishima snorted and looked at the Velociraptor models, which came up to about their knees. “Well, your first issue is using a fictional movie as a source,” he said. “It’s an enjoyable movie, but it’s full of inaccuracies. The raptors in Jurassic Park were more the size of Utahraptors, which were the largest species of raptor.”

“Fascinating!”

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at Oikawa. It was so hard to tell when the older man was being sarcastic, and he couldn’t decide if he was being teased or not. But Oikawa turned to meet his eyes and Tsukishima saw nothing but genuine interest in them. He swallowed quickly and moved on to the next display, Oikawa following behind him happily.

Tsukishima worried his bottom lip between his teeth as they walked. “Oikawa?” he started.

“Hmm?” Oikawa looked at him with his full attention and Tsukishima shrank under his gaze, chickening out.

“Last night,” he began, deciding to go with a different topic, but one that he was still curious about. “Why did you tell your coworker who I was?”

Oikawa blinked and tilted his head confused. “Uh, it would have been really weird to not introduce you, don’t you think?”

“No, I mean…” He paused and looked back towards the exhibit in front of him, not really seeing it, but not wanting to look at Oikawa’s eyes for too long. “Why did you mention that I’m Tadashi’s Soulmate? You could have just said I was your friend.”

“Oooh,” Oikawa said quickly, understanding filling his voice. “Well, he already knew who you were for one. Believe it or not, I’m friends with my coworkers and we talk about our personal lives sometimes,” he joked. He paused a moment before continuing. “Plus, non-Soulmate relationships aren’t as discriminated against here. Like, they’re still not super _common_ but there’s not as much judgement, so I’ve never felt the need to hide the fact that Tada-chan isn’t my Soulmate.”

“I see,” Tsukishima mumbled, feeling suddenly awkward. Oikawa’s response wasn’t what he had been expecting, but it did make sense. “I guess that explains why he just took it in stride. It didn’t seem to faze him at all.”

Oikawa laughed. “Nah, Andy is a cool guy. One of his kids was born without a Soul Mark, and he’s always telling them that it doesn’t matter, and they can decide on their own future. It’s really sweet honestly. I wish my parents would have told me that when I was growing up.”

Tsukishima glanced at Oikawa. The older man was looking up towards the display in front of them with a look of contemplation on his face. He hadn’t been expecting the conversation to go down this path. This felt extremely personal, and Tsukishima knew he had two choices. He could change the subject and they could fall back into their easy banter, or he could say his honest thoughts to the man he liked. The choice was obvious really. 

“That must have been really hard,” he said softly. He’d always known that Oikawa didn’t have a Soul Mark, but until that moment he hadn’t really considered how difficult that must have made his childhood – especially without reassurance from his parents that there was nothing wrong with him. “But for what it’s worth, I think you did a good job building a future for yourself anyway.”

Oikawa blinked and turned his head to meet Tsukishima’s eyes. Tsukishima didn’t quite know how to describe the emotion he saw flickering in Oikawa’s eyes in that moment, but his gaze was soft. “Thank you, Tsukishima.” A small smile ghosted across his face, and Tsukishima wanted nothing more than to lean forward and press his lips against it. Instead, he turned and continued walking through the exhibits, Oikawa trailing behind him quietly.

The atmosphere around them was different now. It wasn’t awkward per se, but it definitely wasn’t as comfortable as it had been before. Tsukishima worried his bottom lip between his teeth and tried to wipe his sweaty palms on his jeans as inconspicuously as possible as they walked. That had been a golden opportunity to confess and he hadn’t taken it. He’d never been more frustrated with himself.

“Do you mind if we sit down for a minute?” Oikawa asked suddenly, and Tsukishima turned around to see Oikawa gesturing to a bench to the side of the hall that he hadn’t noticed before. “My feet kinda hurt. I think all that walking from yesterday is finally catching up to me,” he said with a laugh.

“Oh.” Tsukishima blinked. “We can leave if you want to just go home and rest.”

Oikawa shook his head quickly. “No, I’m having fun!” he said. “I’ll be fine, just a couple minutes of rest would help.”

“Okay, sure,” Tsukishima agreed, following after Oikawa as the older man made his way towards the bench.

They sat next to each other and Oikawa stretched his legs out in front of him with a relieved exhale. They fell into another not-quite-easy but not-quite-awkward silence. Tsukishima was hyper aware of the few inches that separated him from Oikawa. Such a small distance honestly. Were they sitting too close together? Should he put more space between them? Would moving now be weirder than sitting too close in the first place?

“Can I ask you a question?” Oikawa’s voice interrupted his thoughts and Tsukishima started slightly, before nodding as nonchalantly as he could.

“Sure.”

Oikawa didn’t say anything for a minute, and Tsukishima looked over at him. He was looking at Tsukishima’s wrist and the latter glanced down, realizing that he’d been tracing his Soul Mark subconsciously again. Yamaguchi was right. It was definitely a nervous habit.

“What was it like when you met Tadashi?” Oikawa asked at last.

Tsukishima’s fingers stilled and he looked back up at Oikawa’s face. The latter was still staring at Tsukishima’s wrist, refusing to look up. “Um,” he said brilliantly. “I don’t really know how to describe it. It was intense, I guess? Scary, but also really reassuring at the same time.” He paused. “Until…”

Oikawa finally looked back up, meeting Tsukishima’s eyes. “Until he ran away,” he finished Tsukishima’s thought.

Tsukishima shrugged and looked back down to his wrist. “Yeah.”

“Did you hate me?” Oikawa asked quietly. “When Tada-chan told you about me, I mean.”

Silence hung in the air between them for a moment while Tsukishima organized his thoughts. That had not been a question he was expecting. He slowly started tracing his Soul Mark again – deliberately this time – while he thought back to the night Yamaguchi had told him. He remembered feeling a lot of things that night. Confusion. Empathy. Inferiority. Sadness. _Guilt._ But not anger. Definitely not hatred.

“No, I didn’t,” he answered honestly, looking up at Oikawa again.

A sharp exhale left Oikawa’s lips and he closed his eyes. “You’re a better person than I am,” he murmured. His hands were shaking slightly where he held them in his lap. “I’m glad I got over that though,” Oikawa continued after a while, opening his eyes with a smile. “You’re a good person, and I like spending time with you.”

Tsukishima could feel the tips of his ears warm and he wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. “So, you don’t wish that Yamaguchi and I had never met?” The question left his mouth before he had time to think it through, and Tsukishima panicked for a moment, afraid of Oikawa’s answer.

Oikawa was silent for a while, as he contemplated Tsukishima’s words. “Not anymore. I used to though,” he admitted, throwing a guilty smile at Tsukishima, but the latter couldn’t blame him. “When it was still so fresh, and we were broken up. I hated you so fucking much and blamed you for ruining what we had.” He paused again and furrowed his eyebrows. “But… what we had needed to be ruined,” he said softly. 

Tsukishima raised his eyebrows in shock. “What do you mean?” he asked when Oikawa didn’t elaborate.

Oikawa sighed. “We were together for five years before you showed up. And we were happy and in love but… our entire relationship was always so bittersweet. Every single good moment, every happy memory was darkened by fear and uncertainty because we knew it wasn’t going to last. You shouldn’t be scared like that when you’re in a relationship, y’know? It’s not healthy.”

Tsukishima blinked in surprise. That was surprisingly profound. 

“And,” Oikawa continued. “I’m really glad it was you. I don’t know that anyone else would have been as accepting of me as you have been. So, it’s good that you and Tada-chan met. Because now we’re able to just love each other and not be afraid.”

It was such a similar sentiment to what Yamaguchi had told him the other day. _You gave me what I needed to stop being afraid._

“So,” the older man continued. “No, I wouldn’t change anything that happened, even if I could. It was like it was always supposed to happen this way. Like…” he paused and then chuckled. “Like it was destiny.”

 _Destiny._ Tsukishima traced his Soul Mark again.

Oikawa glanced down at the movement and his hand slowly extended towards Tsukishima’s wrist. “May I?” he asked, uncertainly.

Tsukishima could only nod, and then Oikawa’s fingers were on his wrist, tracing the words on his skin.

“You know,” Oikawa said quietly, as if to himself. “I never really believed in any of that crap. Fate, destiny, whatever you call it. At least not for myself. I mean, I could obviously see it at play in the world around me. Perfect matches finding each other and fitting together so seamlessly. But since I was born without a Soul Mark, I thought that I had been left out. And I hated that so much. But maybe fate isn’t always so obvious.” He glanced up at Tsukishima and his eyes were so soft. Tsukishima could see a million questions in them, and he swallowed quickly, not sure what answers Oikawa was looking for in his own eyes.

All he could do was keep looking at Oikawa as he fell further.

“Kei,” Oikawa breathed leaning towards him, and Tsukishima’s name had never sounded so wonderful.

He knew what was coming, but God, he felt so unprepared for it. He could feel himself start to shake as Oikawa closed the distance between them slowly, as if giving Tsukishima the chance to pull away. But he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. Oikawa lifted a hand to Tsukishima’s face and the latter had just enough time to process that Oikawa was shaking just as much as he was before their lips finally, _finally_ met.

The Earth didn’t move and there were no fireworks and sparks didn’t fly or any of those other cliches. It was just a warm, hesitant kiss, and Tsukishima never wanted it to end.

That was an unrealistic wish of course, and Tsukishima tried not to let his disappointment show on his face when Oikawa pulled back. They were both still shaking slightly.

Oikawa looked at Tsukishima, eyes searching, and he bit his lip nervously. “Was that okay?”

Tsukishima could barely process what had happened. Oikawa had kissed him. Oikawa had kissed him. Oikawa. Had. Kissed. Him. He felt like his brain was short-circuiting, and he didn’t know how to respond.

The longer the silence went on, the more nervous Oikawa’s eyes became. _Say something!_ Tsukishima chided himself. _Tell him you like him, you fucking idiot!_ “Um…” he started but was interrupted by Oikawa.

“Ah, sorry Tsukishima!” he said quickly, throwing up a quick grin that Tsukishima immediately knew was forced. “I shouldn’t have done that. You can forget it ever happened!” Oikawa turned away and shifted as if he was going to stand up and Tsukishima panicked and grabbed onto his shirt sleeve quickly, stopping him. Oikawa stilled, but didn’t turn to look at him.

“It’s fine,” Tsukishima said quietly. He wanted to say more, admit how much he liked Oikawa, but the words just weren’t coming.

Oikawa took a shaky breath and met Tsukishima’s eyes. They were still nervous, but a genuine smile, albeit a small one, was turning his lips up. “Okay.”

It should have been easier now than ever to confess. Oikawa had kissed him, so obviously he liked him too, right? So why was saying the words suddenly so much harder now than it had ever been?

“Do you want to get lunch?” Oikawa asked, and Tsukishima couldn’t decide if he was grateful for the subject change or not.

“Sure.”

*****

The rest of the afternoon was spent slowly meandering through the museum. They were both trying to act normal, Oikawa asking questions and Tsukishima answering as they went, but the air around them was thick with tension. Neither seemed willing to bring up the elephant in the room, waiting for the other to start the conversation.

Tsukishima probably should have. Oikawa had technically already made the first move, so the ball was metaphorically in Tsukishima’s court. And honestly, he really should just say something. He had been meaning to from the beginning anyway. But he kept putting it off until they were leaving.

Oikawa pulled out his phone to order a cab to take them home, and Tsukishima sighed internally, giving in. They had to talk about it before they got home, or he’d never hear the end of it from Yamaguchi. “Oikawa,” he mumbled.

The older man looked up from his phone, eyes attentive and bright with expectation. “Yes?”

Tsukishima swallowed thickly. _Just rip the band-aid off,_ he told himself. “I like-”

“Tooru!”

The unexpected call cut Tsukishima off and he grit his teeth together in frustration. The timing could not have been worse.

Oikawa blinked and turned towards the voice. Tsukishima followed his gaze to see the same man from yesterday – Oikawa’s coworker Andrew. He was waving at them happily, a small boy probably about five years old hiding behind his legs.

“Hey Andy,” Oikawa greeted. Tsukishima noticed that his voice was chipper and enthusiastic, but it didn’t sound as authentic as usual. Was he just as irritated at having been interrupted as Tsukishima was? “What are the odds of running into you twice in two days?”

“Honestly!” Andrew said with a laugh. “Especially in a city this big. Ah, nice to see you again!” he said to Tsukishima. “It’s Kei, right?”

Tsukishima nodded once, hoping he didn’t look as hostile as he felt. It wasn’t Andrew’s fault, but Tsukishima couldn’t help but be angry at him for interrupting them.

He must not have done a great job because Andrew’s smile wavered slightly before he turned back to Oikawa. “Our babysitter is sick, so I had to stay home today. Carter really likes the park on this block, and I figured it was a good way to tire him out,” he said with a laugh. “I definitely wasn’t expecting to run into you again.”

Oikawa laughed. “Same! We spent the day at the museum and were just heading home now. It was good seeing you!”

Andrew seemed to be able to take a hint easily enough, and he didn’t look upset at being dismissed so quickly. “You too, Tooru! Sorry we won’t be seeing you at the Christmas party next week by the way. But there’s always next year, right?” He smiled and grabbed his son’s hand, moving past them.

“Yep!” Oikawa agreed, waving as the father-son pair continued on their way.

Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Next year?

When they were out of earshot, Oikawa turned back to him. “Sorry about that!” he said quickly. “You were about to say something weren’t you?”

“You won’t be here next year,” Tsukishima said, and he could hear the palpable confusion in his voice.

Oikawa blinked once before his expression turned sheepish, and Tsukishima got a bad feeling in his gut.

“Right?” he continued when Oikawa didn’t respond. “You’re coming back to Japan in May, aren’t you?”

Oikawa sighed and looked at the ground. “Maybe?” he said. “I’m not sure.”

Tsukishima didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. They had all been working under the assumption that Oikawa’s placement here was only for a year, then he’d be able to move back home and work remotely.

“I was going to talk to you and Tada-chan about this while you were here,” Oikawa continued, still looking at the ground. “But I got an offer to stay here permanently. I haven’t accepted yet of course. I wanted to talk to you guys first.”

Tsukishima could feel disappointment creeping up on him. “But you’re considering it?” he clarified.

Oikawa finally looked up and nodded slowly. “Yeah, I mean the pay would be better if I was working onsite, and I wouldn’t have to worry about travel costs for flying back and forth for big projects and conferences.”

“What about Tadashi?” he asked, unable to hide the growing anger in his voice. _What about me?_

Oikawa winced. “That was another thing I wanted to talk about.” He took a deep breath. “I was going to ask if moving would be a possibility…” he trailed off, looking away from Tsukishima.

Tsukishima felt like he was going to throw up. “You want Tadashi to move here with you.” It wasn’t a question. Oikawa was going to ask Yamaguchi to leave Japan. Tsukishima would lose him. Lose them both. His hands were starting to shake, but he couldn’t stop them. Oikawa had kissed him. Why would he do that if he was just going to abandon him like this?

Tsukishima’s blood ran cold as an ugly conclusion came to the forefront of his mind. It was so ugly, and it was mean, and it assumed the worst of Oikawa, but once the thought was planted in his brain, he couldn’t shake it. Oikawa was using him. Oikawa knew how Tsukishima felt about him. _Of course_ he did. He was way too observant to not have figured it out. He knew this whole time, and he was taking advantage of Tsukishima’s feelings in order to make him complacent. So he wouldn’t put up a fight when Oikawa made Yamaguchi choose between them. And he _was_ going to make him choose. Stay in Japan with Tsukishima or move to America with Oikawa.

Oikawa’s hand on his arm ripped Tsukishima out of his spiraling thoughts and he started. It looked like Oikawa was about to say something, but Tsukishima cut him off. “Fuck you,” he spat out, and Oikawa flinched back, dropping his arm quickly.

“Tsukishima, what-”

“Leave me alone,” he growled, backing away from Oikawa. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t have a conversation right now. Especially not this conversation. He was angry. Angrier than he’d ever been. He took a step back, then another.

“Wait, Tsuki-” But it was too late. Tsukishima turned and ran, not sure where he was going, but knowing he couldn’t stay there. _Anywhere but there._ He didn’t know if Oikawa tried to follow him or not, but eventually Tsukishima turned around and there was no one behind him. He slowed to a stop and panted, leaning forward to rest his hands on his knees. _Fuck._ What was he supposed to do now?

*****

Yamaguchi glanced at the clock. It was getting late and Oikawa and Tsukishima would probably be home soon. He had spent most of the day curled up in Oikawa’s bed, napping off and on and resting his feet. It had been so nice and relaxing.

He was in a really good mood. When Oikawa and Tsukishima returned home things would finally be fine. He couldn’t handle watching the pining anymore. The tension of watching them tiptoe around each other gave him a headache. But they would work their shit out today, and everything would finally be okay. Great even!

He wondered idly which one would end up getting the courage up to confess first.

The sound of the front door opening interrupted his thoughts and he sat up in bed quickly, a grin on his face. He wouldn’t have to wonder for much longer.

He crawled out of bed and noticed absentmindedly that his feet really didn’t hurt all that much anymore, for which he was grateful. He slowly padded his way out into the living room to greet his lovers.

He paused when he saw Oikawa standing alone in the living room. His back was to Yamaguchi, but the younger man could see tension in his boyfriend’s shoulders. His anxiety spiked. Something didn’t feel right.

“Tooru?” he prompted gently. “Where’s Tsukki?”

His voice must have startled Oikawa because he jumped slightly before slowly turning to look at Yamaguchi and the latter’s heart just about stopped. Oikawa was crying.

“What happened?!” he asked, worry in his voice, closing the distance between them as quickly as he could, panic seizing him and causing him to tremble. Where was Tsukishima?

Oikawa buried his face in his hands. “I fucked up, Tada-chan,” he sniffed. “I fucked up really bad.” And then the dam broke and Oikawa was sobbing in Yamaguchi’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no is this misunderstanding as a plot device? How did that get in there? Oh dear.
> 
> Updates may be slightly sporadic for a bit, but I promise to update as soon as I can!


	10. So Tell Me What We Choose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Please note the new tag added!** In this chapter Tsukishima has a panic attack, so please tread lightly if that could be a trigger for you. I know that anxiety/panic attacks can differ person to person, but I wrote this from my own personal experience with anxiety and what panic attacks feel like to me and what grounding techniques help pull me out of them.
> 
> I really do appreciate all the comments/kudos/support this story has gotten and I can't express that enough.
> 
> There are only two chapters left (one official chapter and one that's more epilogue-y) and, while I make no promises because my schedule is hectic as hecc, I am hopeful that I'll be able to finish both of them within the next week or two.

Tsukishima had no idea where he was, but that didn’t concern him. He was moving aimlessly through the city, ignoring the crowds of people milling about. It was rush hour and this particular area of downtown was very crowded. Normally the sheer amount of people would irritate Tsukishima, but he didn’t even notice them as he pressed forward, no particular destination in mind other than _away._

He ignored his phone as it vibrated in his pocket. Oikawa had already called him about 20 times, and Tsukishima refused to answer. He couldn’t think of anyone he would like to talk to less than Oikawa in that moment. The older man had used him. He had taken advantage of Tsukishima’s feelings in order to manipulate him, and Tsukishima hated him for it. His eyes widened slightly at his thoughts, faltering a bit in his step before coming to a standstill. People walked past him and grumbled quietly about the obstruction, but Tsukishima didn’t care.

Did he really hate Oikawa now? It was only a short while ago that he had assured Oikawa that he had never hated him, but so much had changed since then. 

Tsukishima knew what kind of person Oikawa was. He was shrewd and calculating and probably a little bit selfish at times. But he was also kind and loyal, and he would do anything for the people he loved. _But he doesn’t love you, stupid,_ he reminded himself. _He loves Tadashi. He would do anything to be with Tadashi. Including manipulating you._

Tsukishima swallowed thickly and forced his legs to start walking again. His phone vibrated again, and he gritted his teeth together, irritated. He pulled it out and silenced it without looking at the display. He knew he couldn’t avoid Oikawa forever, but he was nowhere close to being in control enough to be around him.

Honestly, he was well within his rights to hate Oikawa. He should hate him. But did he? More than anything in that moment he just felt an aching sadness that settled deep within his chest. He didn’t want to hate Oikawa, even now. But did that mean he didn’t? He wasn’t sure.

It was starting to get dark, and Tsukishima still didn’t have a plan. Damn winter and the sun setting so early. He couldn’t stay on the streets forever. Even though it was much warmer here than in Japan, it was still winter, and without the sun it would likely get cold and Tsukishima didn’t have a jacket. He looked up, taking in his surroundings for the first time in a while. He was still in the heart of downtown from what he could tell. There were a few shops and bars around and Tsukishima briefly considered stepping into one to get off the street, but just as he was making his way towards the closest bar, he caught sight of a hotel at the end of the next block.

He hesitated only a moment before continuing down the block in the direction of the hotel. He needed peace and quiet to think, and he definitely wouldn’t get that in a bar. Plus, he probably shouldn’t drink right now anyway; his emotions were already volatile enough in his current state without the help of alcohol.

The hotel wasn’t anything fancy – which was good because Tsukishima couldn’t afford fancy – but it wasn’t a hovel either. It was just an average hotel. He approached the front desk and the woman standing behind it smiled at him politely.

She seemed a bit surprised that Tsukishima didn’t have a reservation or luggage of any kind, but she kindly went over different room options and Tsukishima winced slightly at the prices. Even the most basic room for one night was still more than he had anticipated. He shouldn’t have been surprised though. It was downtown LA after all. He handed over his credit card and the woman swiped it and handed it back along with a room key.

The layout of the hotel was simple, and he found the room easily enough. He collapsed on the bed with a huff and buried his face in the pillows. 

Once he was off his feet, he realized just how sore his legs were. He had no idea how long he had been walking aimlessly, but it must have been a while. He would need to go back eventually, though the idea of staying the night there and figuring out what to do the next morning was very enticing. He rolled over onto his side, facing the wall of the room. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t run and hide away forever, but he also didn’t know if this was something he could face.

His thoughts wandered without his permission to Yamaguchi. God, he loved Yamaguchi so much. And the only thing that hurt more than the thought of Yamaguchi leaving him was the thought of Yamaguchi being hurt. And this would hurt him, Tsukishima was sure. The last thing Tsukishima ever wanted to do was make Yamaguchi choose between him and Oikawa. Seeing that pain and heartbreak in his Soulmate’s eyes the first time was the reason he had reached out to Oikawa in the first place – the reason they had started their open relationship.

Tsukishima would do anything to keep Yamaguchi from being hurt. _Does that include stepping aside?_ That thought hurt too much to dwell on.

Thinking about Oikawa was a bit better, only in that it didn’t absolute crush his soul to think about him. _It hurt a fucking lot,_ but the emotions were more manageable, less intense. He didn’t love Oikawa like he did Yamaguchi after all. He probably would have one day if his feelings for the older man had been allowed to fester and grow naturally, but now the thought of that potential future seemed laughable.

He flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling before his eyes felt too heavy to keep open any longer. Sleeping was better than thinking. He’d rest his eyes for a few minutes, and then he’d surely have some kind of idea what to do.

*****

He wasn’t sure what woke him up, but he startled awake a little while later. His mouth was dry, and he didn’t feel rested at all. And, unsurprisingly, he was no closer to figuring out a solution to his problems.

He stood up groggily and stumbled to the window in the room, drawing the curtains back to see that it was pitch black outside and the street below seemed deserted.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and his eyes widened when he saw he had over a hundred missed calls and texts. He checked the time and cursed. It was almost midnight. He’d been gone a lot longer than he thought he had. He felt his stomach twist in guilt. He opened his messaging app and blinked a couple of times in surprise when he noticed that it wasn’t just Yamaguchi and Oikawa trying to contact him, but also his friends back home. He had several messages each from Kuroo, Akaashi, and Bokuto. Yamaguchi had probably reached out to them to see if they’d heard from Tsukishima at all.

The guilt intensified and Tsukishima bit his bottom lip as he opened the texts from Yamaguchi, ignoring the others for now. Yamaguchi had been trying to contact him for hours. He probably thought he was hurt or worse. Tsukishima was a terrible Soulmate.

**From: Tadashi**   
_Tsukki, where are you?_

_Please answer your phone._

_At least let me know you’re okay!_

_Tsukki, please._

_You have to be okay._

_It’s getting late, please come home._

_I’m coming to look for you._

_Please Kei, I’m really scared and worried._

So many more messages followed, all along the same lines and Tsukishima felt tears prick at his eyes. He was a horrible person making his Soulmate worry like this. Just then a new message came in from Yamaguchi and he blinked the tears away as he read it.

**From: Tadashi**   
_Kei, I don’t know what else to do. Please. I need to know that you’re okay. I’m this close to calling the police. Just let me know that you’re not dead._

Tsukishima hated himself so much for causing this much worry to Yamaguchi. His fingers shakily tapped out a response, knowing it was nowhere near enough for what he’d put his Soulmate through.

**To: Tadashi**   
_I’m okay. I’m so sorry I worried you, Tadashi. I didn’t look at my phone till now._

The excuse was flimsy and hollow, true as it was, but it was all he could offer. His phone immediately started ringing and Tsukishima swallowed. He didn’t think he could talk to Yamaguchi without breaking down right now. The line went to voicemail, and he quickly sent another text to Yamaguchi, being as honest as he could be.

**To: Tadashi**   
_I don’t think I can talk right now and keep it together._

Yamaguchi’s response came quickly.

**From: Tadashi**   
_Where are you? I’ll come wherever you are. You don’t have to keep it together._

The tears finally broke past Tsukishima’s resolve and he was crying. He didn’t deserve Yamaguchi’s understanding and kindness.

He quickly typed out the name of the hotel and his room number through his bleary vision. As much as he didn’t deserve him, Yamaguchi was the only thing he wanted right then. The only thing that could make him feel better.

**From: Tadashi**   
_I’ll be there soon!_

Tsukishima pocketed his phone and turned away from the window, not sure what to do. He was panicking, he could tell that much. Yamaguchi was on his way here and that thought was both comforting and terrifying. He’d been trying his hardest to not think about Yamaguchi when he had been spiraling earlier. Thinking about Oikawa and his anger and sadness hurt, but it was bearable. But thinking about Yamaguchi – his Soulmate and the love of his existence – leaving him wasn’t. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing Yamaguchi. He needed him. He needed him more than anything else in the world, and if he left him Tsukishima wouldn’t be able to handle it.

He had been purposefully avoiding thinking about the possibility of Yamaguchi choosing Oikawa over him, but now that he’d allowed himself to think about it, the floodgates were open, and it was the only thought in his mind.

His vision swam with more tears and his legs buckled underneath him. He fell to the floor gracelessly and had just enough energy to drag himself towards the wall so he could rest his back against it before he completely fell apart. 

He couldn’t lose Yamaguchi. He couldn’t.

His shoulders were shaking violently as he tried to breathe through his tears, the panic settling over him familiarly even though he hadn’t experienced it in a long time.

His vision was cloudy, and everything sounded far away, as if he was underwater. His breaths came in shaky gasps and he felt like he was drowning. He had no idea how long he sat there just falling apart. Eventually through the fog and murk, he thought he heard a knock, but he couldn’t stand to answer the door even if he tried. He pressed his head between his knees and trembled as he tried to clear his head.

Logically, he knew what was happening in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t focus. The sound in the room became even more distorted and his vision swam in and out of focus. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, _he couldn’t breathe-_

He felt pressure on his cheeks, and he looked up, barely making out Yamaguchi’s worried expression through the fog. The younger man opened his mouth, but Tsukishima couldn’t hear his voice. It was too far away. He gasped for air again and Yamaguchi’s eyes widened slightly before his expression settled into determination.

He grabbed Tsukishima’s wrist quickly, pressing two fingers to his pulse point. Tsukishima could barely feel his touch. It was muted, almost like his body wasn’t fully his. 

Yamaguchi released Tsukishima’s wrist and pulled out his phone, quickly tapping a few buttons before tossing it to the side. He gently grasped Tsukishima’s shoulder and pulled him forward slightly so that his back was no longer touching the wall. The younger man shifted around Tsukishima and wormed his way behind him so that he was sitting with his back to the wall and Tsukishima’s back against his chest. He lifted his right arm up and under Tsukishima’s pressing his palm against the taller man’s chest, right above his heart. His left hand fell to the side, grabbing Tsukishima’s wrist again, pressing his fingers back to Tsukishima’s pulse point – monitoring his heart rate, some distant part of Tsukishima realized.

Finally, Yamaguchi rested his chin on Tsukishima’s shoulder and took a deep breath. “I’ve got you.”

Yamaguchi’s voice sounded faint and far away despite being right next to his ear, but at least Tsukishima could hear it this time. He couldn’t understand the meaning of what he was saying, but the timbre of his Soulmate’s voice was there, and that helped.

Tsukishima could feel Yamaguchi’s chest rising and falling with deep, steady breaths, and he could feel the air of Yamaguchi’s exhales on his cheek. Without thinking, his body tried to mimic the rhythm. His breath caught and he gasped a few more times. The hand over his chest circled gently in reassurance and Yamaguchi spoke again. “Try again. Deep breaths.”

His voice was clearer this time, less distant, and Tsukishima understood a bit better. He took another shaky inhale and fell back into rhythm with Yamaguchi’s breathing. He fell out of beat a few times, small gasps occasionally choking their way out of his throat, but they became fewer and fewer as his breathing slowly steadied.

His other senses sharpened slowly as well, coming back to him bit by bit. The clouds in his vision slowly dissipated, and his ears stopped ringing. He could hear music coming from Yamaguchi’s phone, the sound becoming clearer and clearer the more he concentrated on it. It was a random J-Pop song that Tsukishima didn’t recognize, but he continued listening to the lyrics, allowing them to ground him a bit more.

They sat together, just breathing for the length of five songs. Tsukishima did nothing but focus on the lyrics and the steady breath of Yamaguchi at his back. At the end of the fifth song Yamaguchi finally spoke again. “Are you okay, Tsukki?” he asked, and Tsukishima’s eyes fluttered closed. His Soulmate’s voice – finally crystal clear – was music to his ears.

“Yes,” he replied. His voice cracked a bit, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “Yes. I’m okay now.”

Yamaguchi’s left hand released Tsukishima’s wrist and his arm joined the other, wrapped around Tsukishima’s chest, hugging the taller man. “I’m glad,” he said softly.

They sat together for a moment longer, before Yamaguchi shifted again, moving out from behind Tsukishima. The younger man stood up and extended his hand down to Tsukishima. Tsukishima blinked at his hand a couple times, trying to decide if he even had enough strength to stand. He felt like he had just run a marathon, and he could feel the exhaustion deep in his bones.

Yamaguchi seemed to understand. He knelt down beside Tsukishima again and braced his hands under Tsukishima’s armpits to help him stand. “Let’s just get to the bed, okay? It’ll be much more comfortable than sitting on the floor.” His voice was soothing, and Tsukishima nodded quickly, allowing Yamaguchi to support him while he worked to get his feet underneath him.

They stumbled the few feet to the bed and Tsukishima sank onto it gratefully.

Yamaguchi grabbed his phone from where he had tossed it on the floor and paused the music before sitting next to Tsukishima, close enough that their thighs were pressing together.

“Thank you,” Tsukishima breathed. “I haven’t had an anxiety attack in years. I forgot how bad they can be.”

“Of course,” Yamaguchi assured. He leaned over and grabbed Tsukishima’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I get them sometimes. Not as often anymore, but they were especially bad in high school and college.”

Tsukishima blinked and looked at Yamaguchi. “You do? How did I not know that?”

Yamaguchi shrugged and looked away. “Like I said, they’re not that common anymore. I haven’t had a really bad one since we’ve been together. A couple small ones here and there. But I’m a lot better at pulling myself out of them. I know a few good grounding techniques. Biting into a lemon is a really good one, but I didn’t have any lemons on hand today.” He chuckled softly. “Tooru actually taught me that one.” Tsukishima felt himself tense up at the mention of Oikawa, and Yamaguchi noticed. The younger man sighed. “What happened, Tsukki?”

Tsukishima swallowed thickly. He didn’t want to talk about it. Yamaguchi was here with him now, but how long would that last once Oikawa asked him to choose? “Didn’t Oikawa already tell you?” he hedged.

Another sigh left Yamaguchi’s lips, and he reached up to turn Tsukishima’s face towards his. “Yes, he told me.” He paused and ran his thumb lightly over Tsukishima’s cheek. “But I want to hear it from you. I want to understand what you were thinking.”

“He’s staying.” Tsukishima said simply.

“ _Might_ be staying,” Yamaguchi corrected gently.

Tsukishima clenched his jaw. “That doesn’t bother you?” he asked. “It doesn’t bother you that he might not come home? That he might stay here?”

There was an aching sadness in Yamaguchi’s eyes and Tsukishima wanted it gone, but there was nothing he could do about it. “Of course it bothers me,” Yamaguchi murmured. “I’ve missed him so much these last few months. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through it is knowing it’s all temporary.”

“Apparently not,” Tsukishima muttered, turning to look away from Yamaguchi. He didn’t want to say the next words. He was terrified of Yamaguchi’s response and wanted to avoid the topic altogether, but his mouth started saying the words almost without his permission. “He wants you to move here with him.” Tsukishima stared straight ahead, unable to meet Yamaguchi’s eyes. He wanted to cry and beg. _Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me._

Yamaguchi was silent for a moment, probably putting together his thoughts. “I think…” he paused and sighed. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding, Tsukki. Tooru told me about that too. But the invitation was supposed to be to both of us, not just me.”

Yamaguchi’s words interrupted Tsukishima’s terrified thoughts and his eyes widened. He turned to look at Yamaguchi. “He wants both of us to come live here?” He could hear the doubt and incredulity in his voice.

A soft smile broke out across Yamaguchi’s face. “It’s just one of the possibilities. But it’s something we _all_ need to discuss and decide together.” Yamaguchi paused and bit his lip as if deciding whether or not to say something. “I think deep down you know that Tooru would never try to separate us. He would never ask me to move here and leave you behind. You know that, right?” 

Tsukishima just shrugged and averted his eyes, picking at a piece of thread sticking out of the duvet. Apparently, he didn’t. 

“But even if he did,” Yamaguchi continued. “You know I’d never agree to that.”

More tears gathered in Tsukishima’s eyes. He could feel his body trying to release the tension it carried, but he was still too worked up. “I was so angry with him,” he said quietly. “That he was going to make you choose.” He paused and wiped his eyes in frustration.

Yamaguchi grasped Tsukishima’s hand. “I know. But my choice is already made, you know? I made it a long time ago.” At the confused look on Tsukishima’s face, he continued. “I chose both of you.” He raised the hand that wasn’t holding Tsukishima’s to gently wipe a few stray tears from Tsukishima’s cheek. “And I’ll always choose both of you as long as you’ll both have me. If Tooru tried to take me away from you, then he wouldn’t be choosing me and my happiness because he knows that would hurt me. So, I wouldn’t be able to be with him anymore if he did that. And that would be _his_ choice. Not mine.”

Tsukishima closed his eyes, focusing on Yamaguchi’s words. It made sense; it really did. And he felt guilty for even thinking that Yamaguchi may have left him, but his emotions seemed to be ruling out over his logic today, which was an extremely rare – and frustrating – occurrence.

The grip on Tsukishima’s hand tightened and he opened his eyes again to meet Yamaguchi’s. The younger man smiled softly, but his eyes were serious. “It’s like I told you the other day. You can’t lose me, Tsukki.”

The last of the tension finally left Tsukishima’s shoulders and he nodded slowly. “I’m sorry I overreacted and made you worry, Tadashi.” 

Yamaguchi’s fingers brushed across his face again, and Tsukishima closed his eyes, letting the soft touch comfort him. 

They sat in silence for another few minutes before Tsukishima took a shaky breath. There was more he needed to say now that he was calmer. “Can I admit something to you?”

“Of course,” Yamaguchi said without hesitation.

“I… Oikawa, he… he kissed me,” he mumbled. He could feel his face warm slightly.

“Yeah, I know,” Yamaguchi said, and Tsukishima swore he could hear a smile in his voice.

He exhaled slowly before continuing. “I thought… When he mentioned possibly staying here, I couldn’t help feeling used.” He opened his eyes to look at Yamaguchi. The latter was staring at him in confusion. Tsukishima did his best to explain. “It felt like… like he was taking advantage of my feelings so that I wouldn’t put up a fight when he asked you to move here.” Yamaguchi opened his mouth to speak, but Tsukishima cut him off. “I know it was a misunderstanding, but that’s what I thought. And it _hurt._ ” His voice broke on the last word and he clenched his teeth together.

Yamaguchi squeezed his hand firmly. “That’s why you really ran, isn’t it?” he asked.

Tsukishima nodded once, not trusting his voice anymore.

“We really are Soulmates, aren’t we?” Yamaguchi’s voice was fond, touched with a small bit of humor. Tsukishima opened his eyes again to look at him. “Our first instinct is to run from our problems, rather than facing them head on.”

Tsukishima remembered the day they met, and Yamaguchi’s panicked flight. He snorted once. Yeah, they really were very similar. 

They were silent for a moment longer before Yamaguchi let out a groan. “Fuck, only you two could get into a mess like this.”

Tsukishima blinked and furrowed his eyebrows.

Yamaguchi chuckled once at his confused expression before sighing dramatically. “Tooru likes you so much, Tsukki,” he said matter-of-factly. “He has for a while. Longer than he’s had the offer to stay here. Just to clear up any lingering doubt you may have that he was using you.”

Warmth spread across Tsukishima’s face and he turned away embarrassed. Of course now the misunderstanding had been cleared up, Tsukishima could see how painfully obvious Oikawa’s feeling were. It wasn’t manipulation. Oikawa just… liked him. “How… How long?” he asked, feeling pathetic.

“Mmm,” Yamaguchi hummed. “A couple months at least. He told me in September, but he probably sat on his feelings for a bit before admitting them. He’s almost as stubborn as you are,” he teased.

Tsukishima’s eyes widened ignoring the barb. That long? “He told you?” he asked. Yamaguchi nodded quickly. “Why didn’t you tell me?!” he asked, voice raising slightly in his shock. This whole mess could have been avoided if Yamaguchi had just assured Tsukishima that the feelings between him and Oikawa were mutual.

An exasperated sigh left Yamaguchi. “Just like you, he made me promise not to say anything until he got up the courage to do it himself. I’ve been trying to convince him to talk to you about it since he told me. I feel like I’ve been going crazy trying to get at least one of you to just say something already.” He chuckled. “Of course, if I had known what a mess this was going to turn out to be, I would have told you. Or him. Like I said, only you two could actually go into a situation where you were both planning to confess and come out the way you did.” He rolled his eyes fondly.

Tsukishima groaned and buried his face in his hands. He really had made a mess of things.

Yamaguchi rubbed his back gently. “So, there’s obviously still a lot we need to talk about, but I think you should probably clear the air with Tooru first. Do you think you’re okay to see him right now?” he asked, uncertainty in his voice.

Tsukishima sat up quickly. “He’s here?” he asked.

Yamaguchi nodded. “He’s waiting in the lobby. I thought it best if he stayed down there until we’d had a chance to talk.”

“I see,” Tsukishima murmured. He sat for a second longer, but there was really no point putting it off. It was going to be awkward, but Yamaguchi was right. It needed to be done. And he really needed to apologize to Oikawa. He nodded slowly. “Yeah, he can come up.”

A relieved sigh sounded from Yamaguchi and he grabbed his phone, firing off a quick text to Oikawa.

Tsukishima glanced at the room key sitting on the nightstand and he blinked a couple of times, a new thought occurring to him. “How’d you get in here?” he asked.

“Oh,” Yamaguchi said, pulling another room key out of his pocket. “When you didn’t answer the door, I went to the front desk and told them I was you and got locked out. Tooru helped translate for me. The guy at the front desk checked my ID, but he couldn’t read Japanese, so I think he just decided to trust me. He gave me a new key.” He shrugged.

Ah. “Smart.”

They sat in silence for a while longer, Yamaguchi rubbing soothing circles into Tsukishima’s thigh as they waited. Eventually a very soft, tentative knock sounded at the door. Tsukishima immediately tensed but made no move to stand up. Yamaguchi patted his thigh encouragingly before rising and crossing the small room to answer the door.

Tsukishima’s eyes were on the floor when he heard the door open. He didn’t look up. He couldn’t. He was embarrassed and ashamed. Sure, Oikawa liked him – he still could hardly believe it – but he had been horrible and overreacted, and he wouldn’t blame Oikawa if the older man changed his mind.

There was a moment of tense silence before Oikawa broke it. “Hey, Tsukishima.” His voice was as soft as his knock had been. Nervous. Tsukishima could relate.  
“I’ll give you some privacy,” Yamaguchi mumbled. The sound of the door shutting echoed through the room, and then it was quiet again.

Tsukishima knew this was all on him. He was the one who misunderstood. He was the one who overreacted. He was the one who disappeared for hours and worried them both. He needed to swallow his pride and apologize. He swallowed the knot in his throat and opened his mouth, but Oikawa’s voice cut him off.

“I’m so, so sorry.”

Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, finally looking up from where his gaze was resting on the carpet in front of his feet to meet Oikawa’s eyes. The guilt and shame he’d been feeling hit an all-time high as he realized that the older man had obviously been crying a lot, his face and eyes red and puffy. This was wrong. Oikawa had nothing to be apologize for. This was all Tsukishima’s fault. “What do you have to be sorry for?” he asked.

Oikawa sighed. “So fucking much.” He paused and cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you and Tada-chan sooner. That’s not how I wanted you to find out about the job offer. And I’m sorry that I left you in an unfamiliar city alone. I should have spent longer looking for you, but I didn’t know how to find you and you weren’t answering your phone.”

“That’s not on you,” Tsukishima interrupted. “I was the one who ran, and I ignored you when you tried to call me. You can’t shoulder the blame on that one, Oikawa.”

Oikawa huffed quickly, walking a couple steps further into the room. “I shouldn’t have let you go in the first place. I was shocked and didn’t know how to react, and I just watched you leave. I could have done more.” He paused, standing just a couple feet from Tsukishima. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t just tell you how I felt after I kissed you.” He looked away, towards the window, shuffling his feet nervously. “I was nervous and insecure, and I couldn’t tell if you were just trying to be nice when you said it was fine so that things wouldn’t be awkward, or if you really didn’t mind. I shouldn’t have left it so open-ended.”

“That goes both ways though,” Tsukishima mumbled. “I should have been clearer about my feelings too.” He paused until Oikawa turned back to look at him. “But,” he continued once he had Oikawa’s full attention. “When have I ever done anything just to be nice? It’s like you don’t know me at all,” he joked, smirking slightly, though it lacked the confidence it usually had.

It was still enough to cut the tension slightly and get a small laugh from Oikawa. “Okay, yeah, fair.”

Tsukishima took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Oikawa. I misunderstood and I assumed the worst of you, and I’m ashamed of how I responded.” He wanted to say more. The apology didn’t feel adequate, but he couldn’t think properly with Oikawa’s soft brown eyes looking at him like… like he was something special.

“It’s okay,” Oikawa assured. He tentatively crossed the last couple feet between them and sat next to Tsukishima on the bed. He grabbed Tsukishima’s hand, and slowly intertwined their fingers, giving Tsukishima plenty of time to pull away if he wanted to. “For the record though,” he continued, not breaking eye contact. “Just so there’s absolutely no doubt or miscommunication… I like you a lot, Tsukishima. I think about you all the time, and being around you makes me really happy.”

Warmth spread quickly across Tsukishima’s face, and he could feel the blush all the way up to the tips of his ears. Oikawa smirked at him but was kind enough not to say anything about it. “I… I like you too, Oikawa,” Tsukishima mumbled, glancing back at the floor. Why were feelings so goddamn embarrassing?

Tsukishima could hear the grin in Oikawa’s voice when he spoke next. “Well, good then.”

Oikawa released his hand, but before Tsukishima could protest, both of Oikawa’s hands were on his face, turning him gently so that he was meeting Oikawa’s eyes again. The older man’s eyes were shining happily, and his smile was so heartbreakingly beautiful. 

“Now for the sake of direct and open communication, I have a very important question for you,” Oikawa continued, as his face drew closer and closer to Tsukishima’s, causing the younger man to swallow thickly.

“And what’s that?” he asked breathlessly.

Oikawa was so close now that his lips brushed Tsukishima’s ever so slightly as he spoke his next words. “Will you go out with me, Tsukishima Kei?”

There really wasn’t any good excuse for how Tsukishima reacted. He could blame it on Oikawa’s proximity, or the emotional roller coaster that the last few hours had been, but really it was just something he wanted to do. His hand threaded through Oikawa’s hair and he pulled the older man to him, connecting their lips firmly, almost desperately.

Oikawa gasped in surprise, but quickly melted against him, closing his eyes and turning his head slightly so their lips slotted together more comfortably.

The hand that wasn’t in Oikawa’s hair wrapped around the older man’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer as his tongue traced Oikawa’s bottom lip. Oikawa pulled back slightly, and Tsukishima cursed himself for moving too quickly and was about to apologize when Oikawa shifted and threw one of his legs over Tsukishima, maneuvering himself so that he was straddling the younger man, his knees on either side of Tsukishima’s thighs before connecting their lips again.

Tsukishima couldn’t help gasping into Oikawa’s mouth as the kiss deepened, their tongues sliding together perfectly. Kissing Oikawa was a heady experience, and it was better than Tsukishima could have imagined. He was here, warm and real, and he miraculously liked Tsukishima back and wanted to kiss him just as much as Tsukishima did.

After what felt like hours and mere seconds at the same time, Oikawa pulled back to catch his breath and grinned down at Tsukishima. “Is that a yes?” he asked.

Tsukishima huffed out a breathless laugh, lips curling into a very small smirk. “Yeah.”

Oikawa’s grin softened into the most authentic and joyful smile Tsukishima had ever seen, and the older man leaned down to press one more chaste kiss to Tsukishima’s lips before he threw his arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Kei.”

The sound of his given name on Oikawa’s lips almost made Tsukishima short-circuit. He buried his face in Oikawa’s shoulder and they sat together in comfortable silence, just holding each other.

“Uh, did I come back at a bad time or a good time?” Yamaguchi’s teasing voice made both of them jump slightly and they turned to look sheepishly at Yamaguchi who was standing in the doorway smiling at them. “I did knock first, but I don’t think you heard me.”

Tsukishima had no idea how long Yamaguchi had been standing there, but he was suddenly very aware of the fact that Oikawa was still straddling him, and it wasn’t a super innocent position by any means.

Oikawa just laughed easily. “Never a bad time for you, Tada-chan. Guess what?” he asked happily, answering before Yamaguchi even had a chance guess. “Kei-chan is my boyfriend now too!”

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at Oikawa. “Kei-chan?” he asked. “Seriously?”

Oikawa just stuck his tongue out at him. “Sorry, but if you’re going to date me you have to have a nickname, those are just the rules.”

Yamaguchi’s bright laughter cut off Tsukishima’s retort. He crossed the room quickly and sat next to them on the bed, the most beautiful smile on his face. He wrapped his arms around them both, hugging them tightly. It was slightly awkward because of the positioning, but Tsukishima would never dream of complaining.

“I’m so happy right now it’s not even funny,” Yamaguchi said, pulling back slightly so they could all look at each other. “The rest can wait for tomorrow. The only thing I care about right now is that it’s the three of us from here on out, yeah?”

Oikawa’s grip on Tsukishima’s shoulder tightened slightly as he grinned at Yamaguchi. “Yeah!”

Tsukishima’s throat tightened and he could feel his eyes prick slightly. They were both looking at him with so much affection in their eyes, and Tsukishima couldn’t believe that this was his real life. They still had so much to talk about and figure out. He knew his behavior tonight would need to be addressed more seriously and that there would be lots of uncomfortable conversations. But Yamaguchi was right. All of that could wait. He looked between them, his Soulmate and confidante, someone he loved and trusted with all his heart, and his new boyfriend who pushed him out of his comfort zone and who – he was quite certain now – he’d grow to love. He didn’t feel worthy of them both, but he wanted to be. He would try to be. 

He blinked away the tears quickly and cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yamaguchi is the best boyfriend/Soulmate anyone could ever ask for T^T
> 
> Biting into a lemon is a great way to ground yourself if you are having an anxiety attack, for real. The bitterness shocks your system and breaks the "I'm panicking, I'm panicking" mindset. Ice is also good if you don't have any lemons on hand for a similar reason. Cold = shock, again great for grounding.
> 
> Anywayyy, I hope this was a satisfying resolution. This story was never meant to have a lot of angst in it and was mostly supposed to just be about the pining and these dummies being idiots to lovers, so if the resolution does seem rushed, I apologize!
> 
> Thanks again for sticking with me, and see y'all next chapter! ^-^


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